

--■ 



gl 




SHORT COMPILATION 



OF THE EXTRAORDINARY 

LIFE AND WRITINGS 

OF ' ' \ 

THOMAS SAY: 

IS WHICH, 

Is faithfully copied, from the original manuscript, 

THE 

UNCOMMON VISION, 

V/HICH HE HAD WHEN A YOUNG MAN. 

BY 'HIS SQn! 
NEW- YORK: 

PUBLISHED BY JOHN LANGDOW. 
A. rORMAX, print, 

1805. 




LC CO 



ntE ol »»** r 




tm P 96 028045 




AN 
ACCOUNT 

OF 

THE LIFE 

OF 

THOMAS SAY. 



Xo delineate the characters of great 
and good men, is undoubtedly a pleasing 
and important task; it appears to me 
also to be a claim which posterity has 
upon us, inasmuch as exemplary virtue, 
exhibited in conflicting life, may act in 
such manner as to encourage others, who 
being made sensible of the excellency of 
their lives, and the good resulting there- 
from, may be encouraged to follow them 



4 

in their bright paths of splendid morali- 
ty, philanthropy and religion. I wish 
not to paint the character of my worthy 
progenitor in very strong or glaring co- 
lours, neither would it be proper for me 
so to do ; but only, in a plain dress, to 
perpetuate the memory of one who may 
be truly said to have been an uncom- 
mon man, both with respect to the ge- 
neral tenour of his life, as well as his 
remarkable religious experience. I am 
sorry to say that I am not in the posses- 
sion of manuscript materials to furnish a 
regular and circumstantial detail there- 
of, and shall have, in consequence, to de- 
pend principally upon memory, to ex- 
hibit those things which may be recol- 
lected : they are as accurate as the na- 
ture of the case will admit of. I wish- 
cd him, some time previous to his death, 
to note in writing some of the most im- 



5 

portant traits in his own character, in 
order that a more minute history of his 
life might, in a proper time, be produ- 
ced to the world ; but he did not appear 
to be inclined to do so- 

It may be right for me to mention, at 
this time, that none of his writings, 
which are contained in this work, were 
submitted to the inspection of the soci- 
ety of Friends, or of any individuals 
amongst them, of which my dear parent 
was a worthy member, believing it pro- 
per, on my part, to publish it in the form 
in which it was left by him, unmutikt- 
ed by any one. 

r Some have thought, that the promul- 
gation of the doctrine of universal bene- 
volence, and restoration of man, might 
A 2 



6 



do injury at this time ; but I believe dif- 
ferently, and think that every soul which 
can be made fully sensible of this extra- 
ordinary divine love to the creation, will 
be a humbled creature, and often have 
to adore the great and powerful conde- 
scending mercy and love of Omnipo- 
tence to itself, and to all men ; and have 
frequently to render thanksgiving and 
praise, as at the footstool of grace and 
power. I hope and believe, that this 
principle will yet cover the earth as the 
waters cover the sea so that there 
may be none found who cannot say, 
" Come brother, come sister," &;c. 

His mother was a daughter of Tho- 
mas Paschal], by Johanna, late Sloper, 
of the city of Bristol, in Old England, 



n Isa. xi. 9, 



7 



who married William Say at Friends 
meeting-house-, in the City of Philadel- 
phia, on the 4th day of the second month, 
1693. His grandfather Paschall lived 
nearly eighty-three years, his grandmo- 
ther Paschall nearly seventy-two years, 
his mother upwards of sixty, and his fa- 
ther, I believe, not quite so long. 

He was born in the City of Philadel- 
phia, Ninth month 16th, 1709, old style, 
and nothing material occurred, which 
has come to my knowledge, until he 
was bound out as an apprentice to Wil- 
liam Robinson, to learn to be a saddler 
and harness-maker, in which, I have 
often heard him say, he was remarkably 
active; very few of the trade, after he 
had acquired a complete knowledge of 
it, were able to work with him, either 
with respect to neatness or facility. 



8 



His grandfather and his mother came 
from England with William Penn, and 
his father dying when he was five years 
old, his mother, after being a widow 
for a reasonable time, how long I know 
not, married Benjamin Paschall, so that 
she became twice Paschall, 

His parents being of a religious turn 
of mind, gave him such instruction as 
they conceived might contribute to the 
establishment of a moral and religious 
character, to which he appeared scru- 
pulously to adhere. His step-father Pas- 
chall and uncle Robinson, I think I have 
heard him say, belonged to the Episco- 
pal church, in the principles of which he 
was therefore educated ; yet, notwith- 
standing this, he seemed to prefer the 
getting into stillness, and would, in eon- 
sequence, often attend Friends meet- 



ings, where, he said, he frequently found 
spiritual comfort. His aunt often used 
all her influence to endeavour to prevail 
upon him to continue his attention to 
the church, but without effect. He was 
united to the society of Friends when a 
yotang man. He had an austere mas- 
ter, and one who kept him very closely 
to work. He had a severe spell of the 
pleurisy when about sixteen or seven- 
teen years of age, in which he had the 
uncommon vision or trance, an account 
of which is contained in this book. — 
After he had served a faithful appren- 
ticeship, and acquired a competent know r - 
ledge of his profession, he commenced 
business in Water-street, where he w T a$ 
burned out. By his ow 7 n industry he 
soon rebuilt his house, being exceed- 
ingly attentive to business, and was a 



10 



pattern of sobriety to his day and gene- 
ration. 

He was remarkable for being execu- 
tor to many estates, and guardian to a 
number of orphan children, to whom, I 
have frequently heard him say, he had 
been a faithful steward, and had nothing 
to reproach himself for j but, on the 
contrary, could retrospect upon his past 
conduct with pleasure and satisfaction j 
having also often visited the widows 
and the fatherless in their afflictions, ad- 
ministering comfort and consolation to 
this slighted part of the community. 

He was a zealous promoter and sup- 
porter of schools for the instruction of 
youth, black as well as white, believing 
that they were all equal in the Lord's 
eyes, and that he does not distinguish 



11 



them for their colour, but agreeably to 
their virtues and the rectitude of their 
lives y and that although men make dis- 
tinctions, yet it was necessary to furnish 
the blacks with school-learning, that, 
by improving their understandings, they 
might make more valuable members of 
society, and be enabled to acquire a 
knowledge of the scriptures of truth, by 
which they might establish a good moral 
and religious character. 

He was, for several years, one of the 
committee appointed by the society of 
Friends to attend the school for the in- 
struction of blacks, which was under 
their direction, and of which board he 
also acted as treasurer. 

He was likewise, for several years, 
one of the managers of the house of em- 



12 



ployment at the commencement of that 
valuable institution ; where his perse- 
vering attention and acts of benevolence 
were manifestly afforded, and much con- 
tributed to its then eminence. 

He was also one of the committee ap* 
pointed to the rare of the French neu- 
trals who flew to this city for refuge from 
Nova Scotia, about the year 1757 •> and 
alth' ugh they had the small-pox amongst 
them, and he had two children, viz. 
myself and sister, who had not had that 
disorder, yet he maintained his post with 
fidelity, and discharged his duty to them, 
with that degree of commiseration which 
designates the christian. He, however, 
brought that formidable complaint home 
to his said children, by which he was so 
Unfortunate as to lose his daughter. 



13 

He had a natural talent for medicine, 
and therefore, after he had acquired a 
small capital by his industry in the bu- 
siness that he was educated in> he com- 
menced apothecary and chy mist, in which 
he continued for several years. He often 
gave advice to the poor gratis, which 
frequently proved very useful to them ; 
indeed he performed many cures, which 
the learned professor would not be asha- 
med to acknowledge. 

If it is possible for any one to cure by 
the power of sympathy, he appeared to 
possess that art in an eminent degree : 
for there are a number of well attested 
cases of wens being removed, and in- 
dolent tumors dispersed in the glands ot 
the human body, by stroking his hands 
over them a few times j and however 
this may be ridiculed by some, it is ne- 



14 



vertheless a fact, %vhich a number of liv- 
ing testimoniescan be produced to prove, 

There was a circumstance which oc- 
curred, a few years before his death, of 
so extraordinary a nature, and which 
stands so well attested, as not to admit 
of any doubt ; and I think that it would 
not be unentertaining to the reader to 
relate it in this place* 

It is of a young woman who lived at 
a considerable distance from Philadel- 
phia. She had been, for some time, se- 
verely afflicted with epileptic fits, and 
dreamed one night that a person appear- 
ed to her, and informed her that if she 
would go to the city, and make appli- 
cation to a man by the aame-of Thomas 
Say, she should be cured by such medi- 
cines as he would prescribe for her, and 



15 



that she could not be cured In any other 
way. Although the impression was 
deeply made, and dwelled lively upon 
her mind, yet she treated it only as a 
common dream, and paid but little at- 
tention to it \ but sometime after, the 
same person appeared to her again, de- 
siring to know why she had slighted his 
advice to her. She told him, that she 
had no way to go to the city, neither 
did she know the road, as she had never 
been there, and also that she was unac- 
quainted with the man. He then, she 
thought, retired, and in a short time 
returned with two horses, one of which 
she mounted, and he the other, when 
they rode together to the cky. He then 
accompanied her to the house, and shew- 
ed her the very man. The next morn- 
ing she communicated her dreams to 
some of her friends j upon which a young 



16 



man attended with two horses like those 
she had dreamed of. She mounted the 
one that she thought in her sleep she had 
rode, and he the other; and as they 
went forward, she anticipated a descrip- 
tion of the whole road. Upon their ar- 
rival she recognized the house, and upon 
coming in they saw me, when she said, 
" that is not the man." They then ask- 
ed for Thomas Say, who being up stairs, 
I called him down, and upon his appear- 
ance, she exclaimed "This is the man 
who can cure me." He directly advanc- 
ed and shook hands w r ith them, as was 
his usual custom. She then related all 
the particulars, in my presence, of her 
remarkable dreams. He accordingly had 
some medicines put up for her, which, 
I was informed, she took, and was fully 
and perfectly restored to health. 



17 



He was very humane and benevolent,, 
frequently administering medical, pe- 
cuniary, and religious aid to the poor 
and distressed, numbers of whom par- 
took liberally of his beneficence. 

He was a remarkable pedestrian, pre- 
ferring to walk generally, unless the dis- 
tance was very great. When he was a 
young man, he had a relation who re- 
sided at fourteen miles distance (which 
he has often told me of) to whom he 
would frequently walk to breakfast, stay 
with them the day, and return home in 
the evening. 

He was of stature about five feet, nine 
or ten inches high, thin in flesh, and of 
a clear white skin. He was uncom- 
monly temperate both in eating and 

drinking, the first of which was mostly 
b 2 



18 

of a simple nature, consisting of one 
dish of meat with vegetables, and his 
drink was water, molasses and water, 
milk and water, and suchlike. 

He never used tobacco in any way, 
excepting for a short time, being ad- 
vised to smoke as a remedy for a com* 
plaint which he had in his throat; but, 
however, it not answering the wished- 
for purpose, he declined the use of it. 
As to ardent spirits, he very seldom 
touched any of it. I think I heard him 
say, that during his long life, he thought 
he had not drank a gallon of it. 

He was married to Susannah Catha- 
rine Sprogel on the 15th of the Sixth 
month, 1734, with whom he lived fif- 
teen years in harmony and good under- 
standing. She died in a very suddea 



manner : on the day of her death (Sab- 
bath-day) as she was sitting at the table 
withhim,she toldhim that she wishedhim 
not to go to meeting, as that would be 
the last day they would spend together; 
he endeavoured to reason her out of it, 
but in vain ; he, however, yielded to 
her solicitations, and the sequel proved 
her to be right, for she died in a fit on 
that very day, which indeed was truly 
afflicting to him. He was left with four 
young children, having previously bu- 
ried as many ; the particular care of 
whom devolved especially upon hir% 
and being a remarkably fond and indul- 
gent parent, they were much attached 
to him. 

He married Rebecca Budd (late At- 
kinson) widow of Thomas Budd, on the 
3d day of the Tenth month, 1753, at 



20 



Mount-holly meeting-house in the state 
of New- Jersey, by whom he had two 
children, and with whom he -lived in a 
happy connection for nearly forty-two 
years j so that he lived in a state of ma- 
trimony for upwards of half a century. 

He lived to be an afflicted witness to 
the interment of both his wives, the last 
having died about ten months before 
him of a very lingering spell of illness, 
and also of all his children but one 5 
which was, indeed, truly distressing to 
him, being an uncommon fond and in- 
dulgent parent. 

He was remarkable for continuing, 
through his whole life, in the full pos- 
session of his mental faculties, and could, 
with great facility, recollect recent oc- 
currences as well as those which took 



21 



place in his youth ; though the afflic- 
tions of his body wore down and debi- 
litated his corporeal functions, insomuch 
that a constitution, which otherwise ap- 
peared to be sufficient to calculate upon 
one hundred years of existence, was 
completely worn out short of eighty-se- 
ven years ; yet this may be said to be a 
very advanced age at this period of the 
world. 

He was a great enemy to atheism and 
deism : his arguments and reasonings 
were powerful, and, I believe, brought 
conviction to the minds of many of those 
who had the pleasure of conversing with 
him thtreon. 

In this place I wish to give a few sen- 
timents upon these subjects. I do not 
mean to enter the field of contention, or 



22 

the list of combatants hereon ; but as, 
through the whole tenour of a dear fa- 
ther's life they were opposed, and being 
myself early convinced of their fallacy, 
by his frequent and powerful reasoning, 
I wish just to affix my seal against them, 
in this public manner 3 and more espe- 
cially anxious am I so to do, in this age 
of growing infidelity. 

Indeed I have very often, upon re- 
flecting a little, been much surprized to 
think how any rational man can bring 
himself to believe in either of those ab- 
surdities. ...may I not say infidelities.... 
and more especially in the first, of which, 
I charitably hope, there are but very 
few in existence. Even amongst the 
heathens, and the most unenlightened 
of mankind, there cannot be found ma- 
ny, I trust, who are so hardy as to deny 



23 



the existence of a great, Supreme Being 5 
the Author and Superintender of cre- 
ation. 

Even to the Athenians, who were a 
superstitious and idolatrous people, the 
apostle Paul says, As I passedby, and 
beheld your devotions, I found an altar 
with this inscription, TO THE UN- 
KNOWN GOD. Whom, therefore, ye 
ignorantly worship, him declare I unto 
you.* So that, notwithstanding their 
unworthy mode of worship, yet they 
must have been persuaded that there ex- 
isted an invisible, incomprehensible De- 
ity, the Author of all creation,, 

Man was formed by an all-powerful 
and benevolent Creator, who endowed 



* Acts xvii. 23. 



24 



him with judgment to direct him aright 
upon this point, as well as others, and 
a faculty of reasoning, so that he may 
satisfy himself, even that this visible cre- 
ation evidently manifests the v/orks of 
an omnipotent hand. 

"They lie," says Seneca, "who say 
they believe there is no God : though 
they may profess this confidently in the 
day-time, when they are in company ; 
yet, in the night, and alone, they have 
doubtful thoughts about it." 

" God never wrought a miracle," says 
Lord Bacon, " to convince atheism, be- 
cause his ordinary works convince it." 
Here we see the opinion of this enlight- 
ened philosopher, that where natural 
reason and observation are properly ap- 
plied to the works of the creation, they 



25 



will infallibly bring conviction of an om- 
nipotence, to all those who will make a 
right use of them. 

All nations and religious societies uni- 
versally assent to the existence of a Su- 
preme Being, and to the certainty of _ 
future rewards and punishments. In- 
deed, so forcible has this impression 
been, that the constitutions of many go- 
vernments prescribe, that no man shall 
become a legislator, without first giv- 
ing an acknowledgment that he believes 
in the being of a God ; and many of 
them extend it so far, as in America, 
divers parts of Europe, &c. that they 
must also acknowledge Jesus Christ, 
the great Redeemer and Restorer of 
mankind. 



26 

He was very intimately acquainted 
with the scriptures, and expounded them 
in such a manner as to be exceedingly 
pleasing to those around him, so that 
they have often said, that they never 
heard them so fully $nd satisfactorily 
explained* 



His description of the ladder that Ja- 
cob dreamed of, which was set upon the 
earth, and the top of it reached to Hea- 
ven : and behold, the angels of God 
ascending and descending upon it,* was 
extraordinary, a recital whereof may be 
agreeable to many. 

He said, that he generally awoke an 
hour or two before day, from which 
time till he arose from his bed, he was 



* Gen. xxYiii* 12, 



21 

commonly engaged in meditation ; and 
at one of those times this subject occur- 
red, when he was very desirous to re- 
ceive an explanation thereof, and in 
viewing it deeply, it was opened to his 
iftind in a satisfactory manner : there 
vmtg a number of sevens brought to his 
recollection, as mentioned in scripture, 
and it struck him, that this ladder had 
seven steps, and they were named as fol- 
lows, viz. add to your Faith, 1st, Virtue, 
2d, Knowledge, 3d, Temperance, 4th, 
Patience, 5th, Godliness, 6th, Brother- 
ly-kindness, and 7th, Charity. These, 
he said, we must ascend before w 7 e can 
arrive at that perfection of holiness, 
which will fit us for the mansions of eter- 
nal happiness. 

He spent a great deal of his time in 
visiting and comforting the sick,dispens- 



28 



ing acts of benevolence and charity 
among them ; being fully persuaded that 
it was better to go to the house of mourn- 
ing, than to the house of feasting. 

The uncommon affability of manners^ 
and mildness of disposition with which 
he was almost invariably possessed, ren- 
dered him exceedingly agreeable to all 
his acquaintance, and a very useful mem- 
ber of society. 

He continued in the possession of his 
sight to the end of his days, and could 
read common sized print during his 
whole life without the aid of glasses, al- 
though he for some years made use of 
spectacles,believing that they might pre- 
serve his sight, and indeed he thought 
that he could see better with their as- 
sistance. I have frequently seen him., 



29 



even in the latter part of his life, sign 
his name to instruments of writing with 
ease, without the use of his spectacles, 
holding his head about the same distance 
from the object that a middle-aged man 

Would. 

His sense of hearing appeared to be 
the most impaired, yet he could hear 
common conversation, if delivered with 
a clear, distinct, uninterrupted voice. 

He was, for a long time, much re- 
deemed from the world, and when any 
connection or intimate friend appeared 
to him to be very anxious for the accu- 
mulation of worldly riches, he would 
take occasion to advise them to be care- 
ful not to injure the spirit of truth in 
their own breasts, but to labour to ac- 
quire those invisible riches which will 
c 2 * 



30 



work for them eternal happiness ; and 
that it was his opinion, that they ought 
to endeavour to attain to that state of 
perfection experienced by the apostle, 
who says, "And having food and rai- 
ment, let us be therewith content f?* 
and even then, having their hands to 
the plough, they ought to have their 
hearts to the Lord. 

He had many very severe and dan- 
gerous spells of illness, was much sub- 
ject to the cramp for many years, often 
being attacked with it in his breast, 
which would even very frequently pre- 
vent his breathing for a short time ; in- 
deed, I have seen him lay as though 
dead, without respiration for perhaps 
two or three minutes at a time, and then 



* l Tim.yi.8. 



31 

wake up to undergo the same awful and 
heart-rending state again, which would 
be repeated for one, two, or three days 
at intervals : he was also exceedingly 
afflicted with a calculous complaint, for 
several years before his death, which in- 
duced him to lead a very domestic life : 
he was likewise very much affected with 
a severe and extremely painful hernia. 
With all these dreadful disorders was he 
sometimes attacked, in a most violent 
manner, at the same time, so that he 
was often heard to pray, f% Oh Lord, if 
it be thy will, suffer this bitter cup to 
pass from me, yet not my will, but thine 
be done in me and upon me." At other 
times, " Oh Lord, support me that I 
may not murmur at thy dispensations, 
but give me strength to bear them with 
patience and resignation to thy blessed 
will." And in one very severe spell, he 



32 

said to this effect, " When I consider 
what my dear Saviour, the immaculate 
and unoffending Lamb, went through 
when in this world, for me and his whole 
creation of man, I feel my afflictions dis- 
pensed to me in great tenderness, and 
with a light and merciful hand, which 
causes my cup as to overflow with thanks- 
giving and praise. " For several months 
before his death, he appeared to be un- 
commonly free in conversing with reli- 
gious characters, upon the wonderful 
benevolence and powerful mercy of God, 
in his intentions, eventually to confer 
upon all men eternal happiness, but that 
a just and proportioned punishment 
awaited all those who died in their sins, 
which he thought was one of the great- 
est and most dignified attributes of the 
Deity. If, indeed, this was and is de- 
signed, what other power, either in Hea- 



33 



ven or in earth, can possibly prevent its 
being finally and fully accomplished, or 
in the least avert this beneficent inten- 
tion of Omnipotence ? He continued 
in this belief to the last moments of his 
life, and then could truly say, with an 
eminent one formerly, " I have fought 
a good fight, I have finished my course, 
I have kept the faith : henceforth there 
is laid up for me a crown of righteous* 
ness, which the Lord, the righteous 
Judge, shall give me at that day : and 
not to me only, but unto all them also 
that love bis appearing.* 

A few hours before his death, he spoke 
after this manner, that he was about 
dying in peace with all men, andhoped, 
in a very short time, through the merits 



* 2 Tim.iv. 7, 8. 



34 

of his blessed Redeemer, to enter into 
those peaceful mansions which are pre- 
pared for the virtuous and the good. 
He then took leave of his friends about 
him in a solemn though deliberate man- 
ner, and said, that he hoped none would 
grieve for h i m i as he was about leaving 
a very afflicted mortal body for a more 
glorious state of existence, eternal in 
the heavens. He departed in a very 
tranquil, easy frame of mind, and I have 
no doubt, made a triumphant entry into 
the mansions of the blessed. 

I think I may truly say, " That hav- 
ing glorified his Redeemer on earth, he 
will, probably, be as a star of the first 
magnitude in Heaven. He will shine 
with brighter beams, be replenished with 
stronger joys, in his Lord's everlasting 
kingdom." 



35 

" Let the poor, as they pass by his 
grave, point at the little spot, and thank- 
fully acknowledge. ...there lies the man 3 
Whose unwearied kindness was the con- 
stant relief of my various distresses.... 
who tenderly visited my languishing 
bed, and readily supplied my indigent 
circumstances. How often were his 
counsels a guide to my perplexed thoughts 
and a cordial to my dejected spirit !" 

HERVE Y« 



ADDRESS. 



God being the Creator of all things, 
must, as their common Father, have re- 
spect to all his offspring. For, being al- 
together free from the imperfections 
under which our nature labours at pre- 
sent, he must be totally devoid of the 
partiality which is too evident in most 
parents to one or more of their offspring 
in preference to the rest, few of them 
esteeming all their children alike. Now 
D 



38 

this being confessed to be a weakness 
in parents, it would be a sort of blas- 
phemy to attribute it to the all-perfect 

Deity. 

I know that most people, who speak 
or write concerning the dispensations of 
God to themselves, do it in such a man- 
ner as to give others reason to conclude, 
that they esteem themselves the pecu- 
liar favourites of Heaven, thereby at- 
tributing. that partiality to God which 
they find in themselves, not considering 
that what is imperfection in them can 
never be adored as a perfection in the 
Deity. 

Since this Way of speaking is not, nor 
cannot be true, and as it is disgusting 
to many, for few can bear to hear that 
their neighbours are more highly fa- 



39 



voured of God than they are $ 1 think 
it expedient to shew my opinion, and 
by a few reasons make it appear; that 
the ways of God are altogether without 
respect of persons : and,, consequently, 
though his dealings may seem particu- 
larly kind to me, as in reality they are, 
yet God, who is the Father of all, equal- 
ly loves all his creatures. 

The apostle John, when speaking of 
God, represents him under the two cha- 
racters of light and love. " God,"saith' 
he, " is light, and in him is no darkness 
at all." Now if we consider him under 
this character, he will appear altogether 
impartial. If God is essential eternal 
light, the fountain out of which all tem- 
poral light flows, then he causes his light 
to shine on the evil and the good, with- 
out respect of persons. Again (saith 



40 

the apostle) " God is love," and that his 
love is universal is certain, for he has 
impressed the sense of it so deeply on 
the hearts of ail men, that every one is 
obliged to acknowledge his goodness to 
himself, whatever he mav of it to his 
neighbours. Now it could not be that 
God would impress a sense of his good- 
ness and love on the heart of every man, 
if he was not good and loving to every 
man . Neither would all nations of men, 
nor sects of Christians, characterize him 
with the name of great and good, which 
ail nations have done, unless he were so 
to them. So that, from the consent of 
all nations, we may conclude, that God 
is loviaig to everv man, and that his ten- 
der mercy is over all his w orks. 



It is plain from the history of all na- 
tions who have written of themselves. 



41 

that the same causes which have raised 
one nation to glory and renown, have 
never failed to raise every other nation 
to the same, or to an equal pitch of glo- 
ry, as often as they have used the same 
means. And it is also certain, that the 
same vices which have sunk the glory 
of one nation, have also sunk the glory 
of all other nations that have been guilty 
of them ; therefore in this the ways of 
the Lord are equal. Now though we 
have not so clear evidence from history 
of the fact being so with regard to par- 
ticular persons, yet, that the matter is 
so, I think, cannot well be doubted, 
since God, who is but one unchangea- 
ble Being, can have but one unchange- 
able way of dealing with his creatures, 
whether they be many or few; and if 
nations equally guilty, equally feel his 

rod, so must the particular persons of 
d 2 



42 



which these nations are constituted.— 
The thing is founded in nature, and 
therefore cannot be otherwise - y for vice, 
wherever it is, is by universal expe- 
rience found to be tormenting, and to be 
equally so where the crimes are equal. 
There is an awe and dread v/hich pur- 
sues the guilty, and like a worm preys 
upon them, and never desists as long as 
guilt is found in their bosoms ; ever ve- 
rifying that declaration of God by the 
prophet, "There is no peace, saith my 
God, to the wicked," and indeed so I 
find it* 

Human laws, it is true, and other 
circumstances altogether providential 
often take hold of one man, and out* 
wardly afflict him, while they let another 
escape equally guilty ; but it is not fair 
to conclude from thence that their pu- 



43 

nishments are in reality unequal. Nay, 
I believe that experience will evince the 
contrary to be most certainly true, name- 
ly, that vice triumphant is as miser- 
able as vice under the penalty of hu- 
man laws, or any other outward afflic- 
tions. Many examples might be alledg- 
ed as proofs of this truth \ let one suf- 
fice for the present, 

A philosopher having seen Dionysius, 
the tyrant of Sicily, in all his splendour, 
while yet triumphing in his wickedness, 
complimented him as the happiest man 
in the w r orld. Dionysius, to convince 
him of his mistake, invited him to a royal 
dinner, the table being spread in a most 
splendid hall, and a most luxurious din- 
ner served up in a royal manner. The 
philosopher was seated in a chair (to 
partake of the delicacies) over which 



44 



hung a sword with its point downwards, 
fastened to the ceiling by a single hair; 
notwithstanding the dinner was furnish- 
ed off with all the pomp and magnifi- 
cence of majesty, the philosopher could 
enjoy nothing he tasted or saw : upon 
which Dionysius asked him, "Do you 
now feel happy ?" To whom the philo- 
sopher answered, " The fear of the 
sword, which hangs over my head, hath 
destroyed the relish of the whole ban- 
quet, and in the midst of all the magni- 
ficence and splendour with which I am 
surrounded, I feel perfectly miserable. " 
" Well then," says the tyrant, " the con- 
sciousness of my crimes renders me as 
miserable in the midst of my royalty : 
so that thou who yesterday compliment- 
ed me as the happiest of men, mayest 
to-day be convinced that I am the most 
miserable." 



A 

Now could any visible distress or pu- 
nishment inflicted by the hands of civil 
law, equal the torment which the ty- 
rant felt inflicted from that conscience 
or light within, which is given to all 
men indiscriminately, and which, as it 
came from God, must of necessity do 
his work, reproving and correcting ev- 
ery man for his transgression, and that 
according to each man's wickedness, as 
well as the tyrant mentioned. Since 
God has repeatedly declared, that the 
love of the world is the death of the soul, 
and since it is universally experienced 
by the possessors of riches, that the in- 
crease of them is no increase of happi- 
ness, there can be no proof of partiality 
drawn from the dealings of God in this 
case, as riches or the want of them are 
equally nothing in the scale of bliss.— 
Yet some may object to what I have 



46 

said, by alledging that the most wicked 
are the most insensible, and feel the least 
from their guilt : to whom I answer, 
though the case be so for the present, 
yet it wili not always be so; sensibility 
w ill one day spring up, and repay into 
his bosom the whole of his transgres- 
sions. More cogent reaccns for what I 
have ^::2rted here, are nowhere to be 
found than m the book of Deuteronomy, 
29th and 30ih chapters, part of which 
I will transcribe for such as will not read 
the whole, which I would recommend 
to all who doubt of what I have said, 
for no part of it is so complete as the 
whole. 

" Lest there should be among you, 
man or woman, or family, or tribe, whose 
heart turneth away this day from the 
Lord our God, to go and serve the gods 



47 

of these nations $ lest there should be 
among you a root that beareth gall and 
wormwood - 3 And it come to pass, when 
he heareth the words of this curse, that 
he bless himself in his heart, saying, I 
shall have peace, though I walk in the 
imagination of mine heart, to add drunk- 
enness to thirst ; The Lord will not 
spare him, but then the anger of the 
Lord and his jealousy shall smoke against 
that man ; and all the curses that are 
written in this book shall lie upon him, 
and the Lord shall blot cut his name 
from under Heaven. And the Lord 
shall separate him unto evil, out of all 
the tribes of Israel, according to all the 
curses of the covenant, that are written 
in this book of the law : So that the ge- 
neration to come of your children that 
shall rise up after you, and the stranger 
that shall come from a far land, shall 



48 



say, when they see the plagues of that 
land, and the sicknesses which the Lord 
hath laid upon it ; And that the whole 
land thereof is brimstone, and salt, and 
burning, that it is not sown, nor beareth, 
nor any grass groweth therein, like the 
overthrow of Sodom and Gomorrah, 
Admah and Zeboim, which the Lord 
overthrew in his anger and in his wrath : 
Even all nations shall say, wherefore 
hath the Lord done thus unto this land ? 
What meaneth the heat of this anger ? 
Then men shall say, because they have 
forsaken the covenant of the Lord God 
of their fathers, which he made with 
them, when he brought them forth out 
of the land of Egypt : For they went 
and served other gods, and worshipped 
them, gods whom they knew not, and 
whom he had not given unto them: And 
the anger of the Lord was kindled against 



49 

this land, to bring upon it all the curses 
that are written in this book : And the 
Lord rooted them out of their land in 
anger, and in wrath, and in great in- 
dignation, and cast them into another 
land, as at this day." 

Here is seen the certainty of what I 
have said : it is no matter whether the 
Jews be the nation that transgress, or 
the Gentiles, both shall fare Alike. The 
Jews committing the same sins with the 
nations around them, shall share in their 
plagues. A tribe, a family, a single 
woman or man, though hardened even 
to insensibility, in iniquity, yet shall not 
escape ; but the Lord shall give him a 
trembling heart, failing of eyes, and sor- 
row of mind, and his life shall hang in 
doubt before him, and he shall fear day 
and night, and have none assurance of 



50 

this life. In the morning he shali say, 
% Would to God it were even/' and at 
even he shall say, " Would to God it 
were morning," for the fear of his heart/ 
wherewith he shall fear, and for the 
light of his eyes, which he shall see. 

Sin is a disease under which the hu- 
man nature labours, and as such is con- 
stantly represented in scripture, being 
signified under the types of a leprosy, a 
burning plague, a wound, a bruise, and 
a putrifying sore ; and indeed if we said 
that as scripture makes outward sores 
and diseases the types and figures of sin, 
so in reality they are nothing but the 
outbreakings or different manifestations 
of this one sole and grand disease, we 
would affirm a most certain truth : for 
it will be allowed by all, that disease 
was never known, but where sin was 



51 

first known : therefore sin is truly and 
naturally the root or mother of all dis- 
ease, and that sorrow, pain, anguish, 
and trouble are as natural and necessary 
effects of sin ; as joy, peace, pleasure 
and happiness are of a continual and un- 
interrupted obedience to the will of God. 
As the qualities of all fruit are generat- 
ed in, and proceed from, the tree which 
produces them ; so all diseases, having 
their nature, essence, and qualities from 
sin, must in every symptom manifest 
some quality of the root. Now all dis- 
eases are accompanied with a degree of 
pain equal to the degree of the disease ; 
and to conclude that a man will feel pain 
according to the degree of his disease, 
is a most irresistible truth : and yet no 
more true than to say that a man shall be 
unhappy according to the degree and 
nature of his sins, since the bitterness of 



52 

the root must of necessity be communi- 
cated to the fruit. True, many of those 
diseases which are the daughters of sin, 
may be so violent as for a time to destroy 
sensibility, yet this is a symptom of its 
desperateness, and not of the contrary; 
and so it is with the man that is harden- 
ed in sin even to insensibility ; they are 
both founded in nature, and so are cau- 
ses that produce as certain and invariable 
effects as any others whatever. 

When God formed man, he consti- 
tuted his natin ;. such, that nothing but 
a perfect subjection to the divine will 
(which in scripture is termed righteous- 
ness) could constitute his bliss or happi- 
ness ; and hence it is said, that "Light 
is sown for the righteous, and joy for 
the upright in heart. " Light and joy, 
peace and happiness are sown in the very 



53 

ground, and bottom of nature, for the 
righteous, and for none else : and there- 
fore, whoever he be that doth righteous- 
ness, he is joyous, he is peaceful, and 
he is happy; be he Jew or Gentile, 
Turk or Christian, black or white, bond 
or free > for God respecteth no man's 
person ; but in every nation, he that fear- 
eth God and worketh righteousness, is 
accepted of him. Again, as nothing 
but righteousness can constitute a man's 
happiness, so nothing but sin can con- 
stitute his misery. Darkness and sor- 
row being as deeply sown in the nature 
of things for sinners, as light and joy 
for the righteous 3 sin and righteousness 
are exact contraries, and so produce as 
contrary effects : and hence the same 
God who declares, that peace is sown 
for the righteous, has also declared that 

the soul that sinneth, it shall die, be it 
e 2 



54 

who it may, for God excepteth no man; 
but he that sinneth without law, shall 
also perish without law ; as certainly as 
he that sinneth in the law, shall be judg- 
ed by the law. Now in all this, God 
is impartial, and none can say unto him 
what doest thou, or why dealest thou 
thus > 

Sorrow, you see, wholly and solely 
arises from our departure from God, or 
in 'other words, is caused by sin ; and 
not from any arbitrary infliction of the 
Deity, or wrath that arises in God upon 
our committing sin ; or which was un- 
known to him before, and which he can 
dispense with at pleasure, loving one 
while he commits sin, and hating ano- 
ther who is no more guilty than the one 
he loves. Far be such contradictions 



55 



from the Deity, -and as far be it from us 
to think so meanly of God. 

Moreover, joy arises, as I said be- 
fore, from obedience alone, and not 
from any arbitrary infusion thereof ; 
these things are founded in nature, and 
are as irreversible : for whatever God 
founded in nature at first, was founded 
according to his own nature, and he 
can no more reverse them than he can 
change his own nature : therefore they 
are unchangeable, and must have their 
effect wherever they are found. 

Now though the thing is so founded 
in nature, both respecting sin and right- 
eousness, and though there is but one 
medicine in nature, which can effect the 
removal of sin, and sorrow, its conse* 
quent, viz. the name and power of Je- 



56 



sus Christ revived in man by the effec- 
tual operation of the Holy Ghost, de- 
stroying all earthly passions and lusts, 
and subduing human nature to that de- 
gree, that it will be its proper food, life 
and nourishment, to do the will of its 
heavenly Father, and to walk in that 
straight path of righteousness, which 
leadeth in endless peace and joy for ever 
more. I say, though this is the only 
remedy, yet God uses various ways to 
bring men to the knowledge of their dis- 
ease, and also to the knowledge and ac- 
ceptance of the cure. 

This variety in the dispensations of 
God to his people, is what, by many 
sects, has been brought forward as a . 
proof of his partiality to one part of his 
creatures, arid which they found in an 
original decree of God before all worlds, 



57 

to bless and make happy one part of his 
offspring, in preference to all the rest, 
whom he has everlastingly rejected ; but 
what in reality (for the following rea- 
sons) appears to me to be the only proof 
of his impartiality or universal love. 

Though all men are in a degree like 
to one another, yet differ as much in the 
internal frame and structure of their 
minds as in the external lineaments and 
complexions of their bodies 3 men's tem- 
pers varying as much as their faces^ 
which gave rise to that proverb, viz. as 
many men, so many minds. If God, 
then, will make man partake of the 
goodness he has in store for them, he 
must of necessity use the means best 
adapted to the accomplishment ot his 
designs: as much, therefore, as their 
tempers, capacities, constitutions, and 



58 



other circumstances differ, so much must 
the means he uses differ ; so that what 
at first sight might be deemed partiality 
in God, will, upon this second view of 
the matter, appear the height of impar- 
tiality, universal love, and consummate 
goodness. As a skilful and tender phy- 
sician will administer a gentle purgative 
to one patient, while he prescribes a 
wrecking emetic to another, and as a 
masterly and knowing surgeon will ap- 
ply a lenitive plaster to one sore, while 
he uses incisions or instruments of am- 
putation to another, and in both cases 
equally loving to their patients ; even so, 
God, the great and incomprehensible, 
most tender physician and surgeon, uses 
different means to accomplish the cure 
of that disorder, sin, under which men 
labour, according to the different de^ 
grees thereof : and the charge of par- 



59 



tiality is infinitely more unjust when ap- 
plied to the dispensations of God to his 
creatures, than when applied to the sur- 
geon or physician, because in one case 
they use a lenitive, and in another a cor- 
rosive ; a charge which never entered 
into the head of any man in his senses 
to draw up against them ; yet, strange 
it is, they have drawn it up against God, 
the good, the wise, and righteous God, 
who is the Father of all flesh, as he him- 
self declareth. "All souls are mine," 
saith the heavenly Father, " as the soul 
of the father, so the soul of the son is 
mine."* All are his offspring, and there- 
fore equally share his paternal affection, 
and whenever he deals differently with 
them, it is because their conditions re- 
quire it, and his love will not deny what 



* Ezekiel xviiL 4. 



60 



they stand in need of, though they may 
judge hard of him while under the ope- 
ration, and others may imagine it the 
effect of disregard. This is manifest in 
the case of Job and his friends > both 
judged amiss respecting God and his 
ways ; but behold, in the end it appear- 
ed that all his works were done in mer- 
cy, that his ways w r ere in wisdom, that 
he was a God of judgment, and that just 
and right was he. 

Time would fail me to tell of Joseph, 
of Daniel, of Shadrach, Meshach, and 
Abednego, and of all the prophets, how 
that God's particular ways with them 
proved not only a great salvation to them- 
selves, but as great to the whole world 
besides : all which would tend to render 
the doctrine of the universal impartial 
love of God indisputable. Yet one case, 



61 



which has been much misrepresented, I 
will relate, hoping that therein it will 
manifestly appear, that the most con- 
trary dispensations of God are equally 
the effect of his unchangeable love to 
the subjects of them. What I shall re- 
late is the case of two different persons, 
and two different nations, wherein it 
will appear, from the express declara- 
tion of God, that notwithstanding the 
ways he took with them were very dif- 
ferent, and that men have imagined his 
designs to have been as different, yet he 
accomplished one and the same good in 
both by these different methods. 

The two different persons are Moses 
and Pharaoh, and the two nations or 
people are Egyptians and Israelites, at 
the time of the latter's departure out of 
Egypt, 



62 



God raised up Moses to be a captain 
and leader, and armed him with mira- 
cles of terror and dismay, that he might 
the better accomplish his designs of 
bringing the Israelites out of Egypt. He 
also raised up Pharaoh, and endowed 
him with a degree of hard-heartedness 
sufficient to withstand the miracles of 
Moses, until the designs of God were 
accomplished, and then he ceases to 
withstand, and the good designs of God 
have their effect. 

Here, then, are two persons and also 
two nations under the divine operation ; 
and at first sight the one seems to be 
highly favoured, and the other as highly 
despised. In favour of the one he shows 
signs and wonders, which threaten con- 
fusion and destruction to the other. 
Moses is raised with a soft, gentle, and 



63 



pliant heart, willing to obey the com- 
mands of the Lord, though ever so dif- 
ficult ; Pharaoh with a heart full of stub- 
bornness and cruelty, and hardened to 
such a degree, that he is hardy enough 
to ask, who is the Lord that I should 
obey him ? Nov/, as I said before, the 
only possible way of man's recovery from 
sin, is by a deep and feeling sense of 
his own wickedness, and by as deep and 
feeling a sense of the name and power of 
Jesus Christ, who is the only true Son 
of God and our Redeemer, of both v/hich 
the Jews and the Egyptians were at 
that time entirely ignorant. Therefore 
God first raised up Pharaoh with a heart 
as hard as steel, who by the cruelty 
wherewith he oppressed the Israelites, 
forced them to turn to, and seek after, 
their God, whom they had so long for- 
saken. 



64 



See then, by the instrumentality of 
Pharaoh, and his hardened heart, the 
one nation is brought to acknowledge 
and seek after God, the fountain of bliss. 
They are made to cry unto him, and he 
hears their cry, for he always hears the 
cry of the needy. And here the good- 
ness of God did not stop, but as the 
Egyptians and other nations had reaped 
little or no advantage as yet by Pharaoh 
and his hard heart, he sends Moses to 
them ; and having cloathed him with 
means as effectual to their conviction, 
as Pharaoh's hardness was to the Israel- 
ites, he accomplishes the same : so that, 
by means widely different, he accom- 
plishes one and the same end. 

Both nations being hereby made sen- 
sible of the name, nature and power of 
the only living and true God, and also 



65 

to seek after him for it is most likely 
that the same means which brought Pha- 
raoh, who must be acknowledged to be 
the most stubborn of the Egyptians, to 
acknowledge his own wickedness, and 
beg of Moses to pray to God for him, did 
also bring all the Egyptians to make the 
same acknowledgment to God them- 
selves, and to seek his help ; which cry 
was undoubtedly heard by the Lord of 
hosts y and not only the Egyptians, but 
the whole earth partook of this advan- 
tage by their means, as the Apostle, 
who knew the councils of God as well 
as any others whatever, has positively 
declared, that the choosing of the Jews 
at this time, was the salvation of the 
Gentiles.* 



* -Romans xi. 
F 2 



66 



And I with justice affirm, that the 
hardness of Pharaoh's heart was as ne- 
cessary to the accomplishing the great 
and good designs of God to the world 
at that time, as the miracles of Moses ; 
nay, in reality, Pharaoh was the first of 
the two employed in the work : there- 
fore, where we read that God raised up 
Pharaoh and hardened his heart, we read 
also, that for this very purpose he raised 
him up, viz. to shew his power in him, 
and make his name known throughout 
all the earth ; being the very end for 
which he raised up Moses and all the 
prophets, notwithstanding they act in 
vcrv different characters. Let no man 
stop me here, and object to this by say, 
ing, that God drowned the Egyptians 
in the Red Sea, while he caused the Is* 
raeiites to pass on safely ; for if he does, 
I will answer^ that Qod overthrew those 



67 



very Israelites, whom he carried safe 
through the Red Sea, in the wilderness, 
destroying them with as great a destruc- 
tion there, as he did the Egyptians in 
the Red Sea : and I moreover add, that 
those Israelites and these Egyptians who 
fell, had lived as long upon earth as the 
dispensations of God, in this world, could 
benefit either of them ; and therefore 
they were both carried into another state, 
and more effectual dispensation, where 
they will In the end receive the adoption 
of sons ; for when God shall bring again 
the captivity of Sodom and her daugh- 
ters, and the captivity of Samaria and 
her daughters, then will he bring again 
the captivity of these captives in the midst 
of them : for he will remember his cove- 
nant with them in the days of their youth, 
and will establish unto them an everlast- 
ing covenant 5 making them partake. 



68 



by those more powerful dispensations of 
the same good, which their children and 
the whole world received by the dispen- 
sation which brought death to them. 

After this manner reasons the apostle 
in his epistle to the Romans, mentioned 
above. While he beautifully opens the 
mystery of the divine goodness, in the 
different dispensations of his Providence, 
he concludes, that the choosing of the 
Jews would, in the end, prove the sal- 
vation of the Gentiles ; and again, that 
the choosing of the Gentiles would end 
in the salvation of the Jews -> and that 
God had concluded all in unbelief, that 
he might have mercy upon all thus 
making their fall in turns prove the ris- 
ing of both j thereby shewing incontest- 

? Rom. chap. xi. 



69 



ably, that his ways are not as our ways, 
neither are his thoughts as our thoughts ; 
but as the heavens are above the earth, 
so are his ways above our ways, and his 
thoughts above our thoughts, making 
what we think ends in damnation, to 
land in salvation : therefore, let no man 
henceforth judge after the appearance, 
butjudge righteous judgment. 

Now my desire is, that men would 
accustom themselves to view the dispen- 
sations of God in this light 3 which, if 
they did, they would be constrained to 
cry out, with the apostle, Oh, the height 
and the depth, the length and the breadth, 
both of the knowledge and wisdom of 
God ! How unsearchable are his coun- 
cils, and his ways past finding out! And 
they would also reap this advantage from 
it, that they would be enabled to pos- 



70 



sess their souls in patience under all the 
dispensations of God to them, and with 
a certain beggar, whom I have read of, 
be made to bless God as much for send- 
ing pain and distress upon them, as for 
sending peace, ease, and plenty ; as 
knowing, with the utmost certainty, 
that when he rains fire and brimstone 
upon them, it is out of as great love, and 
does as great good to them, as when he 
rains manna, each being the highest 
good they are then capable of. 

And now having shewed, by a few 
arguments, that the variety of God's dis- 
pensations to man is alone the effect of 
his universal, omnipotent, and never- 
ceasing love to his creatures, and which, 
in the end, must and will accomplish 



; 71 

the salvation of all men, especially of 
those that believe.* 

I now come to mention a few of his 
dealings to me ; as none can by this 
time judge, that I tell them to make 
others believe that his kindness is great- 
er to me than to others, but rather as an 
encouragement to all to trust in the Lord 
at all times, and not to lean to their own 
understandings : for as God is undoing 
in a mystery of love and goodness, all 
that the mystery of iniquity has and does 
work, as the apostle sheweth, saying, 
the mystery of iniquity doth already work; 
only he who now letteth, will let, until 
he be taken out of the w 7 ay, and then 
shall that wicked (one) be revealed, whom 
the Lord shall consume with the spirit of 



* l Tim. iv. 10. 



72 



his mouth, and shall destroy with the 
brightness of his coming.* Therefore 
trust in the Lord, who letteth and will 
let until the wicked one be revealed, 
and then his destruction will be certain 
and sudden, as well as thy salvation , 
for the Lord's anger endureth but a mo- 
ment, in his favour is life, weeping may 
endure for a night, but joy cometh in 
the morning. f 

The mystery of iniquity is so great, 
that the whole world (as the apostle John 
saith) lieth in wickedness ; but if it be 
great, the mystery of godliness is as great; 
for, as the Psalmist declares, All na- 
tions whom thou hast made shall come 
and worship before thee, O Lord, and 
shall glorify thy name. % 

» 2 Thess. ii. T, 8, 9. f Ps. xxx, 5. 

I Psal. ix$&tt. 9. 



AN 

ACCOUNT 

OF 

THE VISION, &c. 



It is not my intention to enumerate all 
the particulars of God's great goodness 
and mercy to my soul in the way of re- 
generation, for this would be endless 5 
but only a few, wherein he, by an out- 
stretched arm, and great power, deli- 
vered me from the enemy of man's salva- 
tion, the dragon, whose tail drew the 
third part of the stars of heaven,* and 

* Rev. xii. 4. 
G 



74 



cast them to the earth. I have found, 
by sad experience, this roaring lion, in 
the subtle workings of my imagination, 
attempting to destroy me with the like 
destruction, by infusing into my mind 
false and unjust notions of God and his 
ways, and striving to make me walk by 
that rule. This is one of the most suc- 
cessful methods whereby he devours the 
souls of the unwary and heedless 5 for 
when once he has impregnated their 
imaginations with wrong conceptions of 
things, they are easily made to swallow 
error for truth, and truth for error, to 
take darkness for light, and light for 
darkness. How evident is this in those 
numerous multitudes, whom he hath so 
far blinded in their understandings, as 
to preach to others, that the light which 
checks men for sin, is not the illumina- 
tion of God's spirit, but another sort, 



75 

which they call the light of a natural 
conscience. But let such as believe so, 
and persuade others to -follow their ex- 
ample of faith* be persuaded to recol- 
lect, and deeply consider, the words of 
our Lord and Saviour, when casting a 
devil out of one that was dumb : say the 
Pharisees, this fellow doth not cast out 
devils, but by Beelzebub, the prince 
of the devils, And Jesus knew their 
thoughts, and s?id unto them, Every 
kingdom divided against itself is brought 
to desolation ; and every city, or house, 
divided against itself, shall not stand. 
And if satan cast out satan,he is divided 
against himself 3 how shall then his king- 
dom stand?* So say 1 3 if our fallen na- 
ture condemns the works of our fallen 
nature, it is divided against itself, how 



* M#t. xii. 24, 35, 2$, 



76 

shall then our fallen nature stand ? For, 
if God be at work to redeem fallen na- 
ture, and fallen nature itself attempting 
the same, it cannot be eternally without 
a redemption, which is a thing they can- 
not allow. 

Wo unto them that call evil ^ood, 

and gcrod evil ; saith the prophet Isaiah, 
that put darkness for light, and 1 1 3 h t for 
darkness ; that put bitter for sweet, and 
sweet for bitter.* Let anv one tell 
against whom this wo can be pronounc- 
ed, if not against those who ascribe the 
operations of the spirit of Gocl to be the 
darkness of our fallen nature. Such ap- 
pear to me to be wise in their own eyes, 
and prudent in their own sight, giving 
that honour to their own nature which 



* Is a. v. 20 ; 21, 



77 

is due to God alone, against whom there 
is a wo pronounced. 

Now, my fellow travellers and dear 
companions, my prayer is, that all of 
us may mind the teachings of God's spi- 
rit upon our own souls, and no more 
call that divine li%ht, which reproves us 
for sin, the light of nature. 

In the morning of my youth, while I 
yet knew but little of the evil nature of 
sin, the Lord was pleased, by his divine 
light and holy spirit in my heart, to cre- 
ate a fear and terror in me when I did 
evil. And being often invited, by my 
young companions, to go to places of 
mirth and diversion, I sometimes yield- 
ed to their solicitations ; but, in the si- 
lent hours of my retirement, and when 

I was upon my bed, the following ques- 
G 2 



7B 

tion arose in my mind ; how hast thou 
spent this time ? To which the reprover 
in me made answer, Not according to 
the mind and will of God 3 for, when 
thou foilowest thine own will and plea* 
sure, thou knowest that thou displeasest 
God. Thus, when my actions were 
brought to the light, I found that it ma- 
nifested of what sort they were, and 
when they were evil, I was reproved 
thereby. Thus the Lord, by his good 
spirit, wrought in my heart, keeping 
me in fear of offending against that small 
measure of the light of Jesus Christ, that 
is the true light, which lighteth every 
man that cometh into the world.* This 
is that light which setteth our sins in 01;- 
der before us, which, if we obey and 
follow, we will find a deliverance from 



* John i, 9, 



79 

all sin; but, if we reject ancf refuse that 
divine light, we cannot receive Jesus 
Christ himself, as he has assured us in 
the scriptures of truth, who said, Verily, 
verily, I say unto you, he that receiveth 
whomsoever I send, receiveth me, and 
he that receiveth me, receiveth him that 
sent me.* This light of - heaven is that 
measure of the spirit given to every man 
to profit withal, and must be received in 

SIMPLICITY, SINCERITY, and INNOCENCE 

of heart, before we can profit thereby ; 
but w 7 hosoever is humble, attentive, and 
obedient thereunto, will profit unto eter- 
nal life ; for God resisteth the proud, but 
giveth grace to the humble. This is the 
comforter promised by our Lord,t who 
reproves men for sin, and who, as I find, 
reproves me for the same, begetting in 



* John SLiii. $0. f John xvi. 7 9 8, S, 



80 

me a fear and dread, when I do evil* 
and peace and joy when I am thereby 
enabled to do well. 

The holy spirit of God having wrought 
in my young and tender heart, in order 
to turn me to righteousness, begot in 
me a strong desire to read the holy scrip- 
tures, with which I constantly complied, 
reading but little in any other book : at 
the same time, a strong inclination to 
serve God arose within me ; and finding 
it commanded in scripture to be obedient 
to our parents in the Lord, for it is right ; 
to honour thy father and mother, which 
is the first commandment with promise; 
servants be obedient to them that are 
your masters according to the flesh, with 
fear and trembling, in singleness of your 
heart, as unto Christ.* Finding these 
* 1 Eph. yj. 1; h $\ 



81 

things commanded in scripture,! began 
to do them with all my might; thus judg- 
ing, that if I did not, the Lord would 
not receive me into his rest. In this 
manner was I employed for some years* 
striving to purchase ^^lystionby out- 
ward compliances, with what I (from 
reading the scriptures) thou rat to be the 
mind and will of God : not knowing 
that there is an inward freedom from sin* 
which the son gives to such as follow 
him, and which, if we do not attain, 
we shall remain children of thi bond- 
woman (notwithstanding our outward 
obedience to tbe commandments) and so 
cannot obtain part of the inheritance 
with the children of the free. But I was 
not permitted to continue long in this 
state j for the devil, that roaring lion, 
who goeth about, seeking whom he 
may devour, w r as permitted to sift me, 



82 

which he did so thoroughly for the space 
g£ two or three years, that my confi- 
dence in the outward observance of the 
commandments was altogether over- 
turned, proving incontestaoly that the 
foundation was sandy, since the house 
built thereon could net stand the storm. 
The temptation was so heavy, that it 
rendered me altogether incapable of read- 
ing the scriptures, and made me almost 
doubt whether there were a God, a 
Christ, or a future state ; so that my 
days were days of sorrow, and my nights 
nights of mourning } and my life was a 
trouble, and death a terror. So I tra- 
velled along in the wilderness state, 
seeking rest and finding none. 

Under this dispensation I came to see 
that the faith I had in God the Father, 
Son and Spirit, withdrew their light, 



83 

.Behold, saith Isaiah, the day of the Lord 
cometh; cruel both with wrath and 
fierce anger, to lay the land desolate ; 
and he shall destroy the sinners thereof 
out of it; for the stars of heaven, and 
the constellations thereof, shall not give 
their light; the sun shall be darkened 
in his going forth, and the moon shall 
not cause her light to shine. And I 
will punish the world for their evil, and 
the wicked for their iniquity : and I will 
cause the arrogancy of the proud to 
cease, and will lay low the haughtiness 
of the terrible ; (that the Lord said he 
would do) and make a man more pre- 
cious than fine gold ; even a man, than 
the golden wedge of Gphir.* There- 
fore I can say, in the language of Ho- 
sea xiv. 9. who is wise, and he shall un- 



* Isaiah xiii. 9, 10, 11, 13, 



m 



derstand these things ? prudent, and he 
shall know them ? For the ways of the 
Lord are right, and the just shall walk 
in them : but the transgressors shall fall 
therein. 

I was apprentice to William Robin- 
son. Many were the ways and me- 
thods I took, in order to get rid of my 
evil thoughts and melancholy medita- 
tions. I frequently used to stretch my- 
self along upon a bench, viewing and 
counting the stars 5 and it often arose in 
my mind, if there be no Divine Being, 
whence came those stars ? And why 
ranked in such order ? And who made 
all things ? These serious and expostu- 
latory meditations caused me to sigh 
deeply,and tears to flow down my cheeks, 
while my soul inwardly cried and said, 
Oh ! if there be a God> let me know it 



85 

before it be too late. At last I conclud- 
ed, that to believe there was a God and 
a future state, and to strive to obey him, 
could not hurt me but if I should die 
in a state of unbelief, and find a God, 
my state would be bad, nay, most mi- 
serable indeed. Here it pleased the 
Lord to w r ork upon me according to the 
riches of his goodness, and under these 
considerations to beget a desire in me to 
know him, and a longing to be recon- 
ciled to him and he to me. At length 
he visited me with a sickness called the 
pleurisy (being about the age of sixteen 
or seventeen) in which I continued for 
some time, in extreme anguish and tor- 
ment, both of body and mind. Some- 
times a small glimmering hope of mercy 
seemed to revive me a little : at other 
times I was almost in despair. Thus I 
continued for nine days ; the fifth and 

H 



86 



seventh days being exceeding thirsty, I 
cried out to my mother, and said, 'Oh ! 
that I could get my thirst quenched for 
a moment, before I go hence, that I 
might enjoy a moment's happiness ; for 
I am afraid that if it is not quenched here, 
it will not be quenched hereafter : (so 
deplorable was the state of my soul at 
that time, expecting to die every mo- 
ment. My speaking in this manner, 
made my mother burst into tears, and 
say, Why speakest thou in this manner? 
If that is thy state, what will become of 
the world ? 

None but God knew the distressed 
condition of my poor soul at that time. 
But here the Lord shewed me that he 
opens rivers in high places, and foun- 
tains in the midst of the valleys : that he 
makes the wilderness a pool of water, 



87 

and the dry land springs of water, &c 
For the Lord's anger endureth but a 
moment, in his favour is life ; weeping 
may endure for a night, but joy com- 
eth in the morning. f Wherefore glo- 
rify ye the Lord in the fires, For, he 
will swallow up death in victory ; and. 
the Lord God will wipe away tears from, 
off all faces, and the rebuke of his peo- 
ple shall he take aw 7 ay from off all the 
earth : for the Lord hath spoken it. J 

On the ninth day,, between the hours 
of four and five, I fell into a trance, and 
so continued until about the hour of 
three or four the next morning. After 
my departure from the body (for I left 
the body) my father and mother, Susan- 
nah Robinson and others, who watch- 

* Isaiah xli. 18. f Psal. xxx. 5. | Isa. 
xxiv. 15. and xxv. 8. 



88 



me, shook my body, felt for my pulse, 
and tried if they could discern any re- 
mains of life or breath in me 3 but found 
none. 

Some maybe desirous to know, whe- 
ther I Mas laid out or not : I found my- 
self, when I opened my eyes, laid on 
my back in my bed, as a corpse is on a 
board 5 and I was told, after I got bet- 
ter, the reason why they did not lay me 
on a board, was, because my mother 
could not, at that time, find freedom to 
have it done : then they sent for Dr. 
Kearsley, who attended me, to have his 
opinion. When he came, he felt for my 
pulse and found none, nor any remains 
of life in me, as he told them ; but as he 
was going away, he returned again, and 
said, that something came into his mind 
to try further 3 he then desired somebody 



89 



to get him a small looking-glass, which 
Catharine Souder, who lived with my 
father, procured 3 the Doctor laid it on 
my mouth for a short time, then took it 
off, and there appeared on the glass a 
little moisture ; then the Doctor said to 
them, If he is not dead, I believe he is 
so far gone that I think he will never 
open his eyes again ; but I would have 
you let him lay w 7 hile he continues warm,, 
and when he begins to grow cold, lay 
him out. 

This they told me w 7 hen I returned 
into the body, at which time I enquired 
why so many sat up with me, not knowing 
that they thought me dead. Upon hear- 
ing me speak, they were all very much 
surprized 3 the second time I spoke, they 
all rose out of their chairs ; and when I 

spoke the third time, they all came to 
H 2 



90 



me. My father and mother enquired 
how it had been with me ? I answered 
and said unto them, I thought I had 
been dead, and going to heaven j and 
after I left the body, I heard, as it were, 
the voices of men, women and children, 
singing songs of praises unto the Lord 
God and the Lamb, without intermis- 
sion, which ravished my soul, and threw 
me into transports of joy- My soul was 
also delighted with most beautiful greens 
which appeared to me on every side, 
and such as never were seen in this world; 
through these I passed, being all cloth- 
ed in white, and in my full shape/ with- 
out the least diminution of parts. As I 
passed along towards a higher state of 
bliss, I cast my eyes upon the earth, 
which I saw plainly, and beheld three 
men (whom I knew) die. Two of them 
were white men, one of whom entered 



91 

into rest, and the other was cast off. 
There appeared a beautiful transparent 
gate opened ; and as land the one that 
entered into rest came up to it, he step- 
ped in ; but 3s I was stepping in, I 
stepped into the body. When I reco- 
vered from my trance, I mentioned both 
their names, at the same time telling 
how I saw them die, and which of them 
entered into rest, and which did not. 
I said to my mother, O that I had made 
one step further ; then I should not have 
come back again. After I told them 
w hat I had to say, I desired them to 
say no more to me, for I still heard the 
melodious songs of praises 3 and while I 
heard them, I felt no pain ; but when 
they went from me, the pain in my side 
returned again, for which I was glad, 
hoping every stitch would take me off, 
and longing for my final change. Af- 



92 

ter I told them of the death of the three 
men, they sent to see if it was so ; and 
when the messenger returned, he told 
them they were all dead, and died in the 
rooms, &c. as I told them ; upon hear- 
ing it, I fell into tears, and said, O Lord, 
I wish thou hadst kept me, and sent him 
back that was in pain ; after which I 
soon recovered from my sickness* 

The third was a negro, named Cuffe, 
belonging to the widow Kearney, whom 
I saw die in the brick kitchen, and when 
they were laying him on a board, his 
head fell out of their hands, when about 
six inches off the board ; which I saw 
plainly, with the other circumstances of 
his being laid out, &c. for, N. B. the 
walls were no hindrance to my sight. 
Though the negro's body was black, yet 
the soul was clothed in white a which 



93 



filled me with greater joy than before, as 
it appeared to me a token of his accept- 
ance - } which has brought to my mind 
that text of scripture which says, Like- 
wise joy shall be in heaven over one sin- 
ner that repenteth, more than over nine- 
ty and nine just persons which need no 
repentance.* And if joy over one sin- 
ner that repenteth^ what must there be 
over many ? 

Though I was filled with more joy 
upon seeing the negro on his way to hap- 
piness, yet I was not permitted to sec 
him fully enter into rest ; but just as I 
thought myself about to enter into rest, 
I came into the body again. 

Some think the negroes have no souls 
to be saved 5 what saith the Lord ? Be- 
* Luke xw t. 



94 



hold, all souls are mine ; as the soul of 
the father, so also the soul of the son is 
mine ; the soul that sinneth, it shall die.* 
Therefore the souls of the negroes are 
the Lord's, as well as the souls of the 
whites ; for God made them all, and 
made nothing but what he loved, and 
for his own glory to glorify him 5 and 
there is no respect of persons with the 
Lord 3 let them be Jew or Gentile, bond 
or free, male or female, they are all one 
in the Lord. When Christ preached to 
his disciples and said, that servant which 
knew his Lord's will, and prepared not 
himself, neither did according to his 
will, shall be beaten w 7 ith many stripes. 
But he that knew not, and did commit 
things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten 
with few stripes. f So the Lord deals 



* Ezekiel xviii.4* f Luke xii. 47, 48. 



95 



with his creation, mankind, to bring 
them to glorify him, for which they were 
made : so that the promise of the Lord 
made to Abraham, should be accom- 
plished, he called him, blessed him with 
:a promise of Christ, and said to him, In 
thee shall all families of the earth be 
blessed.* 

Some time after my recovery, the wi- 
dow Kearney, the mistress of the negro 
man, sent for me and enquired, whe- 
ther I thought the departed spirits knew 
one another ? I answered in the affirma- 
tive, and told her, that I saw her negro 
man die, whilst I was a corpse. She 
then asked me, Where did he die ? I 
told her, in her brick kitchen, between 
the jamb of the chimney and the wall, 



* Gen, xii. 3, 



96 



and when they took him off the bed to 
lay him on the board, his head slipped 
out of their hands : she then said, so it 
did, and asked me, if I could tell her 
where they laid him : I informed her 
that they laid him between the back 
door and the street door : she said that 
she did not remember any thing of that ; 
I told her he laid there whilst they swept 
under the window, where he was after- 
wards placed : she then said, she re- 
membered it was so, and told me that 
she was satisfied, and had reason to be- 
lieve, what she often thought, that it 
was so. 

These men, upon inquiry, were found 
to die at the very time I saw them; and 
all the circumstances of their death were 
found to be as I related them. As some 
may be desirous to know how, and in 



97 



what shape, those dead appeared to me ; 
I would satisfy their desire by telling 
them, that they appeared each in a com- 
plete body, which I take to be the spirit- 
ual body, separated from the earthly sin- 
ful body, They were also all clothed, 
the negro and the person who entered 
into rest, in white, and the oiher 3 who 
■was cast off, had his garment somewhat 
white, but spotted, I saw also the bo- 
dy in which each lived when upon earthy 
and also how they were laid out i but 
my own body I did not see. The rea- 
son why I neither saw my own body* 
nor entered fully into rest, I take to be 
this, that my soul xvas not quite separated 
from my body, as the others were j though 
it was so far separated, as to see those 
things, and to hear the songs of praise 
before mentioned. 



98 



Now some may think that the dead 
know not each other ; to whom I say, 
did not Dives know both Abraham and 
Lazarus, though afar off ? # 

Some years after, I was tempted afresh 
with the same unbelief, which continued 
for some years. So industrious was 
the devil in laying his snares to get an 
advantage of my soul. At one time the 
temptation was so strong, that I thought 
I should certainly fall thereby ; where- 
upon my soul cried out, and said, O 
Lord ! stretch forth thy hand, and save 
me, or I perish ! Which made the en- 
emy fly away (or depart from me) in the 
twinkling of an eye. When I came 
home I related, in every particular, how 
severely I was beset, saying within my- 

% Luke xyL 19, &c? 



99 

self, Lord, if thou dost but preserve me 
from this temptation, I can never be be- 
set with any other so hard. Neverthe- 
less, one morning, some time after, be- 
fore my eyes were open to behold the 
light of the day, or I well awake, and 
nay heart and thoughts turned towards 
heaven, I was attacked, and tempted to 
curse God and die, which continuing 
for three mornings successively, alarmed 
me very much, and made me cry out^ 
O Lord, guard my spirit, and save me 
in the hour of temptation ] 

In the year 1740, as I stood in my 
parlour with my back to the fire, it plea- 
sed the Lord, by his gloriously mani- 
festing light, to set my sins in order be- 
fore the view of my mind ; but not 
knowing then that it was the Lord, I 
was pressed almost to the earth with the 



100 

burden of them. Next morning, before 
I arose from my bed, he opened my un- 
derstanding so far, as to make me per- 
ceive that it was that goodness and mer- 
cy, which wounds only that it may make 
a more perfect cure, which had done 
that, in order to discover to me my state 
by nature, that with the greater impor- 
tunity, EAGERNESS, and HUMILITY, I 

might supplicate his mercy and forgiv- 
ing love. He also brought to my re- 
membrance the former temptations 
wherewith I was tempted, and how he 
delivered me out of them - y whereupon 
my soul cried out, Lord, thy arm hath 
saved me. Then it was said unto my 
soul, Those sins which thou commit- 
tedst, I have brought to judgment, and 
they shall no more be remembered 
against thee. This caused great joy and 
peace to spring up in my soul, and made 



101 



me assured, that though sorrows endure 
for a night, yet joy shall arise in the 
morning. 

Some time after this, a da rkness over- 
shadowed my mind to such a degree, 
that X began to fear that I must have 
blasphemed God, otherwise I could not 
be left in this condition. This darkness 
continued so long, that it brought mc 
to wish I had been any beast of the field, 
or any creeping thing upon the earth 
(even a snake) which God calleth not to 
judgment. But here the merciful, the 
loving and gracious God, did not leave 
me long to lament my existence j for, he 
appeared in the storm, letting me know 
that he thus dealt with me to make me 
more sensible of my miserable state, 
when shut out of his divine and holy pre- 
sence ; and also, that I should glory in 
1 2 



102 



nothing, save in the cross of our Lord 
and Saviour, Jesus Christ ; because* 
when I am weakest, then he is strong. 
Here I was made to adopt the language 
of the prophet, I will praise thee : tho* 
thou wast angry with me, thine anger 
is turned away, and thou comfortedst 
me. Therefore, with joy shall ye draw 
water out of the wells of salvation.* 

At another time, it was impressed 
strongly upon my mind, for some months 
together, that I should be visited with a 
fit of sickness near unto death. This 
caused me to cry mightily, both day and 
night, unto the Lord, to preserve and 
keep me in the hour of trial and of death. 
At the same time there arose a desire in 
me to know the mystery of the trinity, if 



5 Isa. xii. 1, m 



103 



the Lord would please to reveal to me, 
how Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are 
three in one. Soon after this, I was 
visited with the yellow fever (in the 
Eighth month, called August, 1741) in 
which I was given over by the Doctor 
and all that saw me ; being speechless 
for the space of two or three days, and 
unable to take any nourishment, save a 
small matter out of a tea-spoon to moist- 
en my throat, though, all the while I re- 
mained in my perfect senses. During 
those days in which I was deprived of 
my speech, my desire of knowing the 
mystery of the Father, Son and Spirit, 
was satisfied. For there was presented 
to my view a large square place, the 
length and breadth whereof were equal: 
and I beheld in the midst thereof, a 
throne as clear as chrystal, and brighter 
than the sun at noon-day. All around 



104 



the throne there appeared to be seats 
raised one above another, how many I 
know not. I also beheld many placed 
upon these seats, and raised one above 
another, according to their seats, which 
appeared to be the heavenly host. In 
the midst of the throne I saw a body of 
light and glory ; and I saw another body 
of light, proceeding or extending into 
this body, which was in the centre, 
which filled the whole heavens, and all 
the heavenly host, and was that whereby 
they were enabled to join in endless 
songs of praise for evermore. And I 
heard a voice say unto me, " The Lamb, 
who is in the midst of the throne, feeds 
them j so that they shall not hunger any 
more, neither shall they thirst any more ; 
and there is no need of the light of the sun 
to shine in it, for the Lamb is the light 
(hereof," And methought I saw one 



105 

stream of light extending into this body 
of light, and passing through it into the 
hearts of all men universally. 

This light appeared as universal as the 
sun at noon-day. And I heard a voice 
speak unto me and say, C£ Behold this 
light xvhich thou seest extending from the 
Father y through me ( the light proceeding 
from the body in the midst of the throne^ 
which filed the whole heavens and hea- 
venly host J into the hearts of all mankind 7 
is the light which checks men for sin when 
committed, and xvarns them, by fears and 
dreads, when they are about to commit it. 
And if they obey the same, and are led 
thereby, it will lead them to me ; for it 
came from me, and then they shall find 
peace with God (for out of Christ, God 
is a consuming fire/") And I heard the 
same say unto me, ff That one stream of 



106 



light, which thou seest, is of the Father, 
I am the Son, and this lights which pro- 
ceeds through me from the Father into 
the hearts of all men universally, is the 
Spirit, which are one and the same light. 
Here thou seest in part the mystery of 
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." And 
I answering, said, Lord I see it: and 
my heart and soul were filled with joy, 
to see that the Lord, in his infinite good- 
ness and mercy, was pleased to reveal^ 
in part, to me, what I so much desired, 
and also the way he hath cast up for the 
righteous and ransomed to walk in. 

And now let me entreat you, my dear 
brethren, who think that the light which 
reproves men for sin, is the light of a 
natural conscience, and who teach others 
to believe the same, to consider this 
matter ; in so doing, ye teach them to 



107 

despise it, and become disobedient to 
theironly Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ 5 
they, thereby, believe the operations of 
the light of heaven, to be the dark work- 
ings of the degenerate nature y and light 
is put for darkness, sweetness for bit- 
terness, and God himself is taken for 
the apostate spirit ; for all our works are 
done in and by one of these two spirits^ 
and if they are not done in and by God, 
they must be in and by the devil. Only 
consider these few passages of scripture, 
which cannot be broken, and be con- 
vinced of your mistake : God said, Let 
there be light, and there was light ; And 
God saw the light, that it was good.* 
Here you see light, that it immediately 
proceeded from God, and was, by him, 
pronounced good. And if the outward 

• Gen. i. 3, 4> 



108 



light of this world came from God, much 
more the internal light of the soul: nay, 
Jesus Christ himself is called that light 
by the apostle John, who calls him that 
light which lighteth every man that Com- 
eth into the world. * And, in another 
place, the same apostle, who, being the 
beloved disciple, had as good an oppor- 
tunity as any to know the revelations of 
God 5 and cannot be suspected of giving 
a false or mean representation of him, 
speaketh on this wise ; This, then, is 
the message which we have heard of 
him, and declare unto you, that God is 
light, and in him is no darkness at all.f 
Darkness is not from God, but from the 
evil one ; and, therefore, all darkness 
and its works are reproved by the light, 
and the darkness hates the light. The 



* Johni. 9, t t John i. 5. 



109 

nature of all light is to manifest dark- 
ness and its works, and to expel them ; 
for it has no nature but that of him from 
whom it came. Now, as it came trom 
God, it can have no nature but his, nor 
do any work but his work 5 for God 
giveth nothing from himself, but what 
is in himself. Light, therefore, all light, 
as it came from God, so it doth the 
works of God 3 for that which God 
sendeth, doth God's works 3 and it will, 
in the end, return to God, when it hath 
finished its work, that is, when Jesus 
Christ shall have delivered lid the kmgr? 
dom to the Father, that God may be all 
in all : for, Jesus Christ must reign un- 
til he hath put all enemies under his 
feet ; The last enemy that shall be de- 
stroyed is death, viz. As in Adam all die, 
so in Christ shall all be made alive. Then 

shall be sung that anthem of triumph, by 
x 



110 



all the once degenerate, but now renew- 
ed, part of the creation : O death ! 
where is thy sting ? O grave ! where is 
thy victory ? The sting of death is sin, 
and the strength of sin is the law ; But 
thanks be to God, which giveth as the 
victory through our Lord Jesus Christ .* 

Let no man think this, or any other 
declaration of Jesus Christ, being an 
universal and complete Saviour, to be 
any inroad to iniquity, or encouragement 
for men to continue in sin ; for, who- 
ever concludes so, must be altogether 
ignorant of the nature of sin and sal- 
vation. 

That we may the better understand 
what sin and salvation are, it will be ne- 



* 1 Cor. kv. 25> 26, &c. 



Ill 

cessary for us first to understand, in some 
degree, what God is, and what we arc 
ourselves. God is love -> one unchange- 
able and never-ceasing love ; for what- 
ever else may change, yet he abideth 
the same unchangeable love, who can 
never cease to be love, nor ever do any 
thing but what is the effect of love -> fot 
love only can do and rejoice in the works 
of love, as is fully shown in the aposr 
tie's description of it, Now we are the 
offspring of God;* and therefore our 
true, original, and perfect nature, must 
be love. And every thing besides, be it 
what it will, must be contrary to our 
nature, and do for us what pain, sick> 
ness, poison, misery and death do. Hence 
our Saviour says, that all the law and the 
prophets hang upon this law of love ; 



* Acts xvii. 2f . 



112 

which is the law of God's nature and of 

all his offspring, whether they be angels 
or men. The apostle also, who under- 
stood well the counsels and law s of God, 
says, that he who loveth, hath fulfilled 
the whole law : he hath done that which 
all the law and the prophets came to as- 
sist him in, and therefore is returned to 
his original nature and element, from 
whence, by transgression, or by deviat- 
ing from this law of love, he fell, and 
became subject to pain, disease, misery 
and death. For all these are the nature 
and necessary consequents of sin, and no 
arbitrary infliction of the Cod of love. 
No ; punishment is not inflicted upon 
his creatures by this God of love, but 
wholly and solely arises from themselves, 
as often as they transgress against him : 
for he, having: constituted their natures 
like his own, their punishment springs 



113 



from their constitution, whenever they 
act contrary to the law of love. God 
made all things for himself (saith the 
wise man :) therefore nothing but a full 
enjoyment of him in themselves can make 
them happy. As soon, then, as any 
creatures turn their desires from this full 
enjoyment of God, to the enjoyment of 
any other thing, they separate the love 
of God from themselves, in which then* 
life and happiness consisted, and bring 
that into them, in its room and stead, 
which is their poison and death. Here 
grows that tree of the knowledge of good 
and evil, of which, if a man eat, he shall 
surely die ; not by any outward inflic- 
tion of God, but because he hath poi- 
soned himself. And to say, that God 
inflicts death upon a man for drinking 
poison,or that he drowns him for throw- 
ing himself into the river 3 neither of 

K 2 



114 

which consequences could have follow* 
ed, if God did not, out of revenge or 
vindictive justice, inflict the same, is as 
true as to say, that God punishes his 
creatures for sin. In both cases, the 
creature departs voluntarily out of his 
own element, or takes into his constitu- 
tion what is contrary to it, and so must 
abide by the consequence which in botk 
is certain. 

For, in the case of sin, they having 
separated themselves from the love of 
God, wherein consisted their supreme 
and never-ceasing happiness, fall under 
the anguishing sensibilities of nature, de- 
void of all bliss 5 and so become the prey 
of their own self-tormenting nature ; 
and, being stretched on the rack of an 
unfailing existence, they fall into the 
most excruciating tortures and torments^ 



115 



and awaken in themselves that worm 
which dieth not, and that fire which can- 
not be quenched ; but which must burn 
in rage and torment, until it hath burnt 
up and destroyed all that poison and 
death, which, upon their departure from 
God, they brought into themselves (as 
it was with me, which you may read in 
page 85., &c.) And thus being freed 
again from all that self-arrogance and 
high-mindedncss into which they were 
fallen, they feel that humility and low- 
liness of heart which seeks after and finds 
the love and light of God : and then the 
worm which dieth not, and the fire 
which cannot be quenched, having ob- 
tained what they so long sought for, and 
being once more united to their own 
light and love, will, I can say, blaze 
and speak forth the praises of God their 
Saviour (who hath not forsaken them in 



116 



their distress) in a flame of glory, joy* 
and blessedness to all eternity. Let 
him, therefore, who thinks that he may 
continue in sin, that grace may abound, 
think this also, that as he sins, so he 
must suffer ; sin and suffering being in- 
separably connected. No love nor om- 
nipotence of God will keep him from 
suffering who hath sinned. Nay, quite 
the reverse - y all recovery from sin is by 
suffering ; therefore, the very God of 
love has repeatedly declared, that the 
only means for a fallen creature's reco* 
very is, by cutting off every thing that 
is to us as our right hands, plucking out 
our right eyes, by a continual suffering* 
dying, and self-denial : all which are 
such grievous afflictions, that we see few 
who have resolution enough to undergo 
them ; which made Jesus say, Straight 
is the gate and narrow is the way which 



117 

leadeth unto life, and few there be that 
find it.* This he also confirmed by hiS 
own example, when he took upon him 
part of our fallen nature. He was a 
man of sorrows and acquainted with 
grief 3 he was mocked, scourged, des- 
pised, spit upon, and crucified : thus the 
Captain of our salvation was made per- 
fect through sufferings ;f .plainly shew- 
ing in example, what he had taught in 
precept, viz. that the only way to re- 
deem fallen nature, was, by suffering. 
Hence the apostle Peter tells the con- 
verts to whom lie, writes; that they were 
called to this very thing : for even here- 
unto v/ere ye called (saith he) because 
Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an 
example that we should follow his steps. J 
And, saith Paul, if we suffer with him, 



* Mat. vii. 14. t Isa. liii. - J i Fet.iLSi. 



118 



we shall also reign with him : and none 
but such as conquer by sufferings and 
die with him, can reign with him ^ for 
it is only he that overcometh, that shall 
sit down upon his throne, even as h$ 
overcame and sat down on his Father's 
throne. The victory of the one must be 
even as the victory of the other : and no 
other way can that victory be obtained, 
but by suffering with him; for, If any 
man will come after me, let him deny 
himself, and take up his cross daily, and 
follow me.* It is vain to think to find 
out an easier way ; for he is the author 
of eternal salvation, to those only that 
obey him. He, then, who sins, in the 
nature and necessity of the thing, must 
suffer. And he w ho says, let us conti- 
nue in sin that grace may abound, myst 



* Lukeix. 23. 



119 



continue in suffering, before grace can 
abound. This doctrine, therefore, of 
Jesus Christ's subduing all things to 
himself, and making every knee bow 
to him, whether they be things in hea- 
ven, things in earth, or things under 
the earth ;* of his being an all-sufficient, 
all-perfect, universal Saviour, when right- 
ly understood, is the most powerful call 
to mortification and self-denial. Since 
it is not possible for us to enjoy Jesus 
Christ and his salvation, so long as we 
continue in that spirit and temper which 
at first separated us from them ; and 
since, before ever we can enjoy them* 
We must go through a degree of purify- 
ing sufferings equal to the greatness of 
our sins ; let us, therefore, be persuad- 
ed, in time, to break off our sins by righ- 



* Philip, ii. 10* 



120 

teousness, to amend the evil of our do- 
ings, to enter heartily into mortification 
and self-denial, and to renounce our love 
to the world and the things of it, which 
are our poison and death, and the root 
from whence all our sorrows and misery 
flow 3 because God takes no delight 
therein. Nay, he has even determined 
to make us forsake it at last, and that 
by greater degrees of suffering accord- 
ing as our wickedness may increase ; for 
every knee shall, at last, be made to bow 
to him, and every tongue shall confess 
Jesus to be Lord, to the glory of God 
the Father, and the salvation of those 
who are thus humbled, which no pow- 
er, but that of the Holy Ghost, can ac- 
complish : for none can call Jesus Lord, 
in truth and sincerity, but by the Holy 
Ghost 



121 

Thus God's works are all love : and 
salvation consists in abiding therein: 
misery and pain proceed alone from our 
sin, or forsaking that love. God's love, 
therefore, is as great to us, when sin- 
ners, as when saints, and he no more 
inflicts punishment on sinners out of ven- 
geance or vindictive wraths than on 
saints. Here some, after all I have al- 
ready said, may stop me, and say, How 
dost thou know r this, since God hath no 
where said so ? To whom I answer, he 
hath said so, in these memorable words 
of the prophet Jeremiah iu 19. Thine 
own wickedness shall correct thee, and 
thy backslidings shall reprove thee : — 
know, therefore, and see that it is an 
evil thing and a bitter, that thou hast 
forsaken the Lord thy God, and that 
his fear is not in thee. See here w r hence 
punishment springs, and be convinced. 

L 



122 



At another time, in the last mention* 
ed sickness, I thought that I was all in 
white, and was taken by one who was 
sent to me as a guide, into a most beau- 
tiful place : as soon as I entered, I was 
an hungred and athirst but I was satis- 
fied in a moment, and my soul cried out 
and said, Who hath satisfied me so soon 
and with such sweet w r ater? (which wa- 
ter, I thought, I had once drank of be- 
fore) and I heard a voice answer and 
say, It is the Shepherd of the sheep ; be- 
hold the sheep running upon the green 
mountain y which sight ravished my 
heart, and made my soul leap for joy, 
and I said, I hope I shall be with them 
by and by ; w r hereupon there appeared 
a narrow path leading to the top of the 
mountain, and my guide, who was upon 
my right hand and clothed in white, said 
■unto me, that if I did not proceed for- 



123 

ward with great care and a watchful 
eye, I might fall, and so not arrive at 
the top of this glorious mountain. I also 
thought that I saw a basket upon the 
floor, with some of that which 1 was 
fed , and seeing a dog coming up to it, I 
said to my guide, there is a dog coming 
up, and he will eat thereof. But my 
guide answered, No ; a dog cannot eat 
thereof. At another time, in the same 
illness, and the same guide being with 
me, I beheld a beautiful place, garnish- 
ed w r ith all manner of precious stones, 
and the light of the Son of glory shining 
in it, caused the stones to appear in ex- 
ceeding brightness, and always illumi- 
nated y so that it had no need of the light 
of the sun to shine in it. I asked my 
guide, and said, What place is this ? 
And he answered, This is the place 
where the souls of those who have fol- 



124 

lowed the Lamb, dwell, after they have 
conquered upon earth. I said unto my 
guide, Oh, that I might see some of 
them ! But I was permitted to see none, 
save my mother, who came out to m? f . 
And I said unto her, What a beautiful 
place thou dsvellest in ! I wish I could 
live here too. But she said unto we, 
Not now, but thou shalt come by ai*d 
by, which gave me great , joy. These 
things I have seen, whether in the body 
or out of the body, I cannot tell. — ■ 
Wherefore, I, Thomas Say, do honour 
and praise and magnify the God of the 
whole earth, who is able to relieve 
the distressed and afflicted soul ; 
and who, when our souls are at the great- 
est distance from him, and have the least 
hope of his aid, doth stretch forth his 
arm, and bring salvation : who, when I 
was brought very low in body and mind, 



125 



and ready to perish through lack ot 
knowledge, opened the fountains of his 
wisdom to me, and shewed me the mys- 
teries, in part, of his kingdom ; who 
sent his angel to be my guide, and ma- 
nifested his universal, omnipotent good- 
ness to me ; wherefore my soul is hum- 
bled in me, and with gratitude ask, 
What shall I render to the Lord for all 
the benefits that he hath bestozved on me. 

Ob, that it were in my power to make 
a return of his love and grace to me, 
who deserve no favour at his hand ! but 
not unto us ! but unto him be the glory 
of all his ways ! For it is his own good- 
ness that is the cause of all his various 
ways and dispensations : therefore, I 
cannot think the days that he hath 
lent, or spared me, can be better em- 
ployed than in spreading the knowledge 
l 2 



126 

of his universal goodness, and of the perv 
nicious consequences of sin 5 that there- 
by all may he brought to renounce their 
evil ways, and to turn unto the Lord, 
and taste his goodness, for he will be 
merciful to them 3 and to our God, who 
will abundantly pardon them, and all 
who forsake the evil, and cleave to the 
good. To the wicked there is no peace, 
saith my God (though he proclaims it to 
them, and good will to all men) because 
they have forsaken the God of peace, 
and will not return to him, though he 
entreats them, with the tender affection 
of a Father, to turn to him, from whom 
they have departed. Let us, then, turn 
in heart to him, before whom all our de- 
sires are known, and from whom none 
of our secrets can be hid. 



127 



God created man, and he watches 
over* him as a parent over his beloved 
offspring. And when he transgresses 
his law, and will not w r alk in his statutes, 
he corrects, entreats, and mourns over 
him y for, the Lord's portion is his peo- 
ple ; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance.* 
Wherefore, when you hear his voice, my 
brethren, speaking within you, give way 
to it, listen and attentively obey it : for 
it means no harm, it intends your end*. 
Jess peace, welfare, and happiness.— 
Though it commands you to renounce 
your most darling affections, yet obey, 
for your life lies in obedience j and tho* 
you lose your life in obedience, yet you 
shall find it tenfold ; but if you disobey,, 
though you gain your life thereby, yet ye 
shall lose it 3 for the mouth of the Lord 



* Deut. xxxii. 9. 



128 



hath spoken it. Let not the cross of 
Christ prove a stumbling-block to any 
one, for it will deliver him from the bon- 
dage of corruption into the glorious li- 
berty of the children of God. And Jn 
no other way can any obtain that liberty 
and eternal bliss, than by a patient con- 
formity to Christ and his sufferings ; for 
to every man is left a measure of suffer- 
ing to be endured by him, which, if un- 
dergone w r ith due resignation, will de- 
liver him from the power of the flesh 
and blood, which cannot inherit the 
kingdom of heaven, by crucifying it with 
its affections and lusts 5 and will fit him 
for the enjoyment of the divine flesh and 
blood of our Lord and Saviour, which 
he gave for the life of the world, of which, 
if any man eat, he shall live for ever.* 



* John vi. 51. 



129 

Oh, blessed are they who are crucified 
with Christ, and who live no more 
themselves, but have the life of Jesus 
Christ revealed in them. Their daily 
suffering, dying, and self-denial have, 
at last, proved their life and salvation : 
they will enter into life, joy and peace, 
with Christ, their Lord and Captain. 
And because they have followed him in 
the regeneration, he bath appointed them 
a kingdom, that they may eat and drink 
at his table, and reign kings and priests 
unto God and the Lamb for ever more. 
Many are .the tribulations and suffer- 
ings, both inward and outward, which 
await every one who wiil follow 7 a Sa- 
viour, who himself was made perfect 
through sufferings, but let not such be- 
come, weary and faint in their minds $ 
for this suffering Saviour has overcome 
the worlds aijd the prince thereof, and 



130 . 

will go before them, making straight the 
crooked paths. For such he will break 
in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in 
sunder the bars of iron ; he will give 
them the treasures of darkness and hid- 
den riches of secret places.* He will 
also enlighten their minds in the know*- 
ledge of the mysteries of his kingdom 5 
he will shew them the New Jerusalem^ 
that beautiful city, coming down from 
heaven ; and will open their ears, so as 
to hear the songs which are sung unto 
the Lord God and the Lamb. These 
things did the Lord reveal unto me, in 
my sufferings and death, turning my sor- 
rows into the joyful feelings of exalted 
bliss 3 and he will do so to every one, 
who patiently endures the cross and des- 
pises the shame, Therefore, I reckon, 



* Isa.xhvS, 8. 



131 



that the sufferings of this present time 
are not worthy to be compared with the 
glory which shall be revealed in us.* 
Here the old man of sin., viz, the flesh, 
willeth its lustings, which delights in 
earthly pleasures and sensual delights, 
whose utmost ambition is bodily ease, 
great wealth, honour and esteem among 
men, and who must undergo a perfect 
death by the cross, w^ill cry out with Ja- 
cob, upon another occasion, All these 
things are against me; and will therefoie 
speak vehemently against this way, call* 
ing it dreaming enthusiasm, moping hy- 
pochondriacism, and what not. But a 
soul truly awakened to a deep feeling of 
its lost and degenerated condition, and 
of the absolute impossibility of enjoying 
real, substantial happiness, without the 



t Rom. viii. 13, 



132 



destruction of the flesh, will earnestly 
beg, saying, Lord, let no fleshly plea- 
sure, nor earthly enjoyment, rob me of 
my birth. I am ready, with Moses, to 
suffer affliction with the people of God, 
rather than enjoy the pleasures of sin for 
a season.* Let others ask what they 
please, I will seek tby face and favour, 
and though it cost rne my, life, with all 
its enjoyments (as the upr'g!,: Slower of 
Christ doth say) I shall no$ sell my bles- 
sing for them : therefore, O Lord God, 
fix my heart on thee and goodness, which 
is the centre of all bliss, perfection and 
happiness; and crucify the old mania 
me, so that as long as I bear this body 
of clay, I may bear in it the marks of my 
Lord's sufferings. And with the bles- 
sed apostle, let me joy in nothing but 



* Heb.xi. .25. 



133 



the cross of my Lord and Saviour Jesus 
Christ,* which let me feel as long as 
any seeds of sin or death remain in me ; 
for well I know, that all these are not 
to be compared with the weight of glory 
which is reserved in the heavens tor all 
those who follow Christ, and are made 
perfect through sufferings. Suffering in 
this life is the best of all blessings. Men 
are ready, on all occasions, to bless God 
for bodily pleasures and worldly felicity; 
but few (too few) for suffering and dis- 
tress ; and yet, happy and only happy 
is he whom the Lord afficteth : for 
whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, 
and scourgeth every son whom he re- 
ceiveth, and to be without chastisement, 
is to have the mark of bastards, and not 
sons.f Therefore, Blessed is the man 

* Gal. v& 14, f Heb. xii. 6 5 S. 

M 



134 

whom the Lord chasteneth, and teach- 
cth out of his law,* for he will give him 
strength in the time of adversity, so that 
he shall not fall with the ungodly. God, 
in his wisdom and goodness, appoints 
all who seel: his face in sincerity, to tri- 
bulations, afflictions, injuries, persecu- 
tions, and death ; because he knows, 
that there is no other way to destroy the 
lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh, and 
the pride of life, wherein consists the 
man of sin and our fallen life, and to 
raise up in us that life of faith, humility, 
patience, self-denial, and charity, that 
top-stone of goodness and perfection of 
bliss ; for charity suffereth long, and is 
kind 5 charity envieth not; charity vaunt- 
eth net itself, is not puffed up, doth not 
behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her 



* Psal. xciv. 12, 



135 



own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no 
evil i rejoiceth not in iniquity, but re- 
joiceth in the truth ; beareth all things, 
believeth all things, hopeth all things, 
endureth all things. Charity never fail- 
eth.* And therefore it is the top-stone 
of all virtue, and the perfection of bliss : 
for, when this perfection is come, then 
that which is in part shall be done away; 
whether it be knowledge, faith, hope, 
or any other spiritual gifts. But this 
pearl of great price, is only to be dug 
out of the earth of our fallen nature, by 
the labour and sweat of suffering : for 
what man can love his enemies, who 
has none ? or who can pray for them 
that persecute him, while he enjoys peace 
from the world ? In a word, who can 
be perfect as our Father in heaven is per- 



* 1 Cor. xiii.4, 5,6, 7 } 3. 



136 

feet (and who' alone is the standard of 
perfection) but he, who is kind to the 
evi! and the good, and who possesses a 
heart as ready to heal the ear of a Mai- 
chus, his enemy, as to cure a Simeon's 
wife when sick of a fever, or raise a La- 
zarus when tour days dead ? Suffering 
and dying with Christ is the only way to 
attain tins spirit and temper, and there- 
tore the only thing we should long after 
or pray for ; yet, few can bear suffer- 
ings patiently, when imposed on them; 
fewer yet, who bless God for causing 
them to suffer; and fewest of all, who 
long after and rejoice in them : and 
therefore we may say, Strait is the gate, 
and narrow is the way, which leadeth 
unto life, and few there be that find it."* 
Few r seek salvation, because suffering 



* Matt Tii. 14, 



137 

is the way to it. Sorrow alone makes 
the heart better, and yet few love it. 
Blessed be the God and Father of our 
Lord Jesus Christ, for he hath ordained 
sorrow of heart and failing of eyes ; 
weeping and wailing and gnashing of 
teeth ;* even greater and more severe 
plagues than any in this life, for those 
who have proved too hard for the pre- 
sent afflictions, and whom the sorrows 
of this world could not moilifv, that 
thereby they might be made to seek af- 
ter and enjoy that never-ceasing joy, 
which they drive so far from them by 
their carnal delights, earthly gratifica- 
tions, and the love of this world. This 
way of inward and outward sufferings is 
very hard to bear, as we see in the case 
of Job, whose patience was so great, 



* Matt. viii. 12. 



138 

that though in one day he saw himself 
spoiled both of his children and fortune, 
yet, with unparallelled resignation, in 
calmness and serenity of mind, he falls 
down and worships God, saying, The 
Lord gave and the Lord hath taken 
away, blessed be the name of the Lord :* 
yet, when the distress had advanced but 
a little farther, and laid hold on his skin 
and flesh, his patience fails him, and he 
no longer can hold out, under the load 
of calamities, but curses the day of his 
birth, and condemns the hand which 
had dealt out this last blow, though he 
had blessed it for dealing cut all the rest ; 
so hard a thing it is to bear the cross in 
all its degrees, and so deeply must hu- 
man nature suffer before it can be tho- 
roughly sanctified. Whoever will desire 



* Job 1st and 2d Chapters. 



139 



to be made partakers of eternal happi- 
ness in the kingdom of heaven, must, 
above all things, prize, value, and long 
for a state of suffering: he must place 
his sufferings among his chiefest bles- 
sings, and be ready, when suffering, to 
say with suffering Job, What is man, 
that thou shouldest magnify him ; and 
that thou shouldest visit him every morn- 
ing, and try him every moment ? For 
the more constant and severe our trials 
are, if we bear them patiently, the short- 
er will be our way to the kingdom of 
heaven ; let us, therefore, in our suffer- 
ings, never fly to man for relief, or long 
for a deliverance out of them, until they 
have accomplished that for which they 
were sent, but let us humble ourselves 
under God and his goodness, being fully 
assured, that all these things, when borne 
patiently, will land us in unfailing joy. 



140 



Never are we in more danger, nor in a 
worse condition, than when we enjoy 
outward peace and quietness, though 
we are so apt to seek after it. We must 
tread the paths of a suffering Saviour, in 
order to our being made perfect with 
him : he was despised and rejected of 
men, and so must we, if we will be his 
disciples ; and therefore, when all is 
peace and quietness around us, to con- 
clude that all is therefore well, is the 
greatest deceit in the world ; and to be 
anxious to preserve ourselves in the good 
graces and esteem of the world (except 
it be by walking contrary to its maxims, 
customs, and politics, as Christ did, and 
which will never preserve the good-will 
of any society on earth) is only to lock 
ourselves up the faster in the arms of sin 
and death. Jesus Christ was rejected 
of men, because he was not a nian of 



141 

the world; he had neither worldly pas^ 
sions nor possessions ; and, therefore, 
would not worship its prince, nor accept 
of his offered gifts, but renounced him 
and them, with a Get thee hence, satan, 
&c* He despised them, and walked 
through the territories of the devil, un- 
hurt by any of his wiles or stratagems; 
therefore he was maltreated and bruised 
by them upon ail occasions. And he 
not only did so himself, but also taught 
and commanded the same to all that 
would become his disciples, saying, Sell 
all that thou hast, and distribute unto the 
poor, and thou shalt have treasure in 
heaven : and come, follow me.f This 
was the way he pointed out, to a youth 
whom he loved, and it is in vain to seek 
out an easier way, for the one Lord and 



* Matt. iv. 8, 9, 10. 



t Luke xviii.22. 



142 



Saviour has but one way of salvation. 
This is the doctrine of Jesus, and vet is 
that which has been, is, and ever will 
be, reckoned enthusiasm, demoniacism, 
and folly, by those who make the world 
and its wealth their sum mum bonum, 
notwithstanding they call themselves by 
the name of Jesus. But the life of Je- 
sus is not seen by, or manifested in them, 
for he was a man of sorrows and ac- 
quainted with grief; he was oppressed 
and afflicted, yet he opened not his 
mouth. This is the patience of Jesus, 
and must be the patience of such saints 
as will partake of the kingdom of Jesus ; 
for out of these patient sufferings grows 
that poverty of spirit, which shall inherit 
the kingdom of heaven. And they who 
endure such sufferings in quiet resigna- 
tion to the will of God, are the poor 
and needy, who seek for water and there 



143 



is none, and their tongues fail for thirst: 
yet the Lord will hear them; the God 
of Israel will not forsake them ; but he 
will open rivers in high places to them, 
and fountains in the midst of the valleys, 
even the rivers of joy, which flow from 
the throne of God and the Lamb, as 
clear as chrystal, for evermore. For 
those needy shall not always be forgot* 
ten, and the expectation of such poor, 
shall not perish for ever. 

God does not bestow any lasting bles- 
sing upon such as are at ease, and en- 
joying the good things of this w T orld, 
without desiring or feeling after a bet- 
ter ; wherefore his call is to such; but 
when he calls, it is Come unto me all ye 
that are weary and heavy laden, and I 
will give you rest. To the man of the 
world, this sound of glad tidings of great 



144 

joy appears only an idle tale, and not 
worth the attending to, and when the 
offer is made to such, they make light of 
it, and go away, one to his farm, and 
another to his merchandize, with I pray 
thee have me excused. Their hearts 
are so much set upon buying and selling, 
and making gain, that no time is left for 
them to reflect thus within themselves, 
Why do I run thus after this world ? 
What will it profit me, though I gain 
the whole of it ? My desires are growing 
faster than my possessions, so that I shall 
never find happiness in this way ; be- 
sides, yet a little while, and I shall go 
the way where I shall not return, and so 
leave all behind me. I shall one day 
die; and if I die in my present condi- 
tion, I need no revelation to tell me, 
that I shall be miserable ; my own con- 
science bears witness thereto : and the 



145 

fears, suspicious and awful forebodings 
of my heart, whenever I think seriously 
upon death and eternity, promise no- 
thing to me beyond the grave, but black- 
ness, darkness and horror. For, though 
I may outbrave my rebuke, and mock 
at him who preaches religion to me ; 
yet my own heart condemns me, and 
sets nothing before me but the fearful 
dread of impending ruin, as often as I 
listen quietly to its dictates ; and which 
nothing but the hurry of business, and 
the noise of revelling, silences ; and if I 
have such a witness against myself, in 
my own bosom, how can I expect to 
escape ? I dare appeal to any one who 
hath had the highest expectations from 
the enjoyment of any earthly gratifica- 
tions, whether, in the evjoijmenl, he hath 
not found himself disappointed; and if 
it be so, is it not folly (to call it no worse) 

N 



146 

to seek unto such deceivers? Is there 
any among the sons of the merchants, 
who hath set his heart upon silver, and 
been satisfied therewith ? What man of 
pleasure hath spent only one year in his 
delights, without feeling a palled appe- 
tite or disgust ? Who among you can 
see himself slighted, or hut even neglect- 
ed in company, and not feel that un- 
easy sensibility, resentment ? Are you 
not often disappointed in your expecta- 
tions, and thereby unhappy ? Will not 
a look of disdain cast upon you, throw 
you into a foment ? Will not the sight 
of a person whom you dislike, throw you 
into disorder ? And, lastly, when you 
have enjoyed all that your heart can wish 
of pleasure, when you have revelled 
amidst all the scenery of mirth and jol- 
lity, have heard men-singers and wo- 
men-singers, and tasted all the delights 



147 

of the sons of men, are you then happy? 
Now these things are partly what hap- 
pen or may happen to you daily ; and 
therefore only look back and seriously 
consider, and say. Are not the wise 
man's words true ; vanity of vanities, all 
is vanity ? If these things are so, your 
way is not the way to happiness j and 
therefore, no more brand them with the 
name of enthusiasts, who propose to you 
a more excellent happiness, an happi- 
ness quite of another nature, and show 
you a more excellent way to arrive at it, 
viz. by renouncing all those false plea- 
sures, which, as your own experience 
proves, do not carry peace in their own 
bosoms, and by beginning to feel your 
real wants and poverty, and by humbly 
applying to him, who can satisfy to the 
full all the cravings of your immortal 
spirits. The truly weary and heavy la- 



148 

den heeds none of all these arguments to 
rouse him into a serious attention to his 
utter want and necessity, and therefore 
feels an argument more powerful than 
all reasons,, to renounce all earthly plea- 
sures and sensual delights, and to deny 
all ungodliness and worldly lusts, and to 
live soberly, righteously, and godly in 
this present evil world. He needs no 
terrors of eternal damnation to deter him 
Trom Y/iekedness : for he knows and 
feels his sentence in himself, as often as 
he does evil, which alone is sufficient to 
make him long after, and unceasingly 
pray for, a complete redemption through 
Christ his Lord. This world and all that 
it affords are to him but dross and dung 
(that he may win Christ and his salva- 
tion) from the power of which, he longs 
as much to be delivered as from any evil 
disease. He knows that the love of this 



149 

world is poison to the soul, and that to 
Jive under its influences is to be separat- 
ed from God and goodness, lire and hap- 
piness; therefore he shuns it, and every 
thing leading thereto, as he would shun 
death. He is readv, upon everv call of 
God, whether inward or outward, to 
give up his flesh, with its affections and 
lusts, to be consumed bv the fire of 
God's jealousy ; which will last no lon- 
ger than it finds corruption to consumer, 
and which was ordained for that very 
end, viz. to destroy sin and iniquity, to 
make an end of transgression, and to 
bring in an everlasting righteousness : 
and when accomplished, it will burn 
forth in all the meekness of love and joy 
for evermore. All the commandments 
contained in our Lord's sermon on the 
^mount, which to many seem so hard, 
and are so much ridiculed by vain and 



150 



sensual men, arc to him easy and de- 
lightful, because in them he exercises 
that spirit of charity which never faileth, 
and finds them powerful to destroy the 
dominion of sin in him ; he needs no ar- 
guments to convince or persuade him, 
that it is his duty to let the man have his 
cloak, who has sued him at the law and 
taken away his coat for he knows the 
love of such things to be evil, and there* 
fore, being without affection to them, 
he has no resentment against the man 
who thus deals by him ; neither has he 
any desire to recover the things which 
are thus taken away. For it is,and ever 
will be, not only an eternal truth, but 
a self-evident one too, and what is borne 
witness to by, every person in the world, 
that no man ever resented, but when he 
thought himself injured - y nor ever griev* 
<?d the loss of any thing, but what he 



151 

loved \ or sought for the restitution of 
any thing which he disregarded : there- 
fore, whenever we find an uneasiness 
for the loss of any thing, or are offended 
.with him who is the cause thereof, it is 
because we love it, and if it be either 
this world or any thing in it, the love 
of the Father is not in us 5 for no man 
can love God and Mammon at once, or 
serve both at the same time, if Jesus 
Christ speaks truth. 



% prapet t 

O lord god of the righteous, before 
whom my soul is bowed, though unfit 
to appear in thy presence, yet I have to 
acknowledge thy great love and restor- 
ing .power,, that thou, O Lord, hast 
showed unto me, thy unworthy servant. 



152 

when I was under distress of mind, and 
Walking on the barren mountains of pro- 
fession, and the desolate hills, where 
my soul thirsted for water/ and found 
none j and almost overcome by the ma* 
Hy temptations that surrounded me, even 
to that degree as to bring me, as it were, 
into the depth of sorrows and distress of 
soul, seeking rest and finding none, till 
thou, the God of all nations, and Father 
of all souls, showedst unto me, that thou 
makest the wilderness a pool of water, 
and the dry land springs of water, and 
openest rivers in high places and foutl* 
tains in the midst of the valleys, in which 
my thirsty travelling soul found refresh- 
ment. 

O Lord God, Father of our redeem* 
ing love, Christ Je us, hasten the time> 
if it be thy holy will, that the know* 



153 

ledge of thee, the God of the Christian's 
Sabbath, may cover the earth, as the 
waters cover the sea ; and that all souls 
that dwell in the pit, wherein is no wa- 
ter, may be refreshed, so that there may 
be no more pain, nor sorrow, and all 
old things may be done away, and all 
things be made new 3 that every soul 
may be refreshed by thy restoring and 
redeeming love, created anew, and fit- 
ted to dwell in the celestial habitations, 
and receive peace and universal enjoy* 
ments. 

OLord, increase the number of thine 
elect, and be near the souls that are un- 
der distress, sorrow and tribulation, and, 
being oppressed with fears, do water 
their pillows with tears of repentance ; 
support them, O Lord, I pray thee, and 
cause the enemy of their souls to flee 



154 

from them ; give them comfort when it 
seemeth most convenient, and raise 
them to the state that is desirable, 
viz. a dwelling in Christ Jesus our Lord, 
Do thou, great Jehovah, arm us more 
and more with strength to overcome sa- 
tan^ that roaring lion, who goeth about 
seeking whom he may devour 3 so that 
we may come to live in that, supreme 
love which knoweth no limits. G Lord, 
strengthen the inward man, and giveu* 
comfort and hope, under the severest 
trials and tribulations that we are to go 
through. Wash our robes in the blood 
of the Lamb, and make them clean, 
O Lord, open thou the- windows of hea- 
ven, and pour water upon the thirsty 
souls, and floods upon the dry ground 5 
blot out our transgressions and remem- 
ber our sins no more ; and bring us to 
dwell in the celestial regions of divine 



155 



light and love, and partake of the joys 
of our Lord, who dwelleth in the high- 
est heavens, and sitteth upon the seat of 
judgment. Cause misery to pass away, 
and the long suffering to have an end. 

O Lord, arise, judge the earth, and 
put an end to sin, and finish transgres- 
sion ; so that thou mayest complete what 
thou earnest to do, and inherit all things; 
for thou gavest Adam a living soul, and 
placedst him in paradise, to glorify thee 3 
and he and his offspring, through diso- 
bedience to thy commands, fell from 
thee., OLord, the rock of our salvation, 
and fountain of all existence, who fillest 
all things with thy presence, and art 
glorious in all thy works. Hasten the 
time, if it be thy holy and divine will, to 
cause the fire of thy word to consume 
all sin s so that the souls of thy creation> 



156 



mankind, may be redeemed, that thy 
glory may shine in all thy works, and 
they brought to praise thee. O Lord, I 
pray thee, bring us out of the land of 
Egypt, the dark state of nature ; so that 
we may follow after4:hee,the rock of our 
salvation. Comfort Zion, and make hef 
waste places and her deserts like the gar- 
den of the Lord, that joy and gladness 
may be found in her y so that thy fallen 
creation may be brought to the state of 
holiness from which they fell, and ever 
dwell in that fountain of light and re* 
deeming love, and join the glorious com- 
pany of angels, and the spirits of just men 
made perfect, in psalms and hymns, and 
melodious spiritual songs, to the Lord 
God and the Lamb, who is worthy both 
now and for evermore. Amen, 

683 

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